Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. ~ James A. Baldwin ~
Human beings are like trees, with branches that grow out in all different directions. They touch, they overlap, and they split off into smaller branches. No two limbs are alike, and no two limbs have identical branches, but they are all part of the same tree. Each branch is connected to the whole and must remain that way to stay alive. That tree is me; that tree is you. We need all parts of ourselves to be fully alive and fulfilled.
Each tree is uniquely beautiful. We wouldn't dream of tacking up a cloth on one of our backyard trees to cover up a portion of it. Why do we do this to ourselves?
There are many facets to my life, and I always laugh when someone asks me what I do, because I wear so many hats! I used to be in corporate sales, so I understand what it means to be an employee, a salesperson, a boss, the client interface, and a co-worker. Today, I'm a creative—a photographer, writer and painter—while still being wife, Mom, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, business owner, coach, sponsor, sponsee, volunteer and member of a church family.
I'm also a trauma survivor, which means I grew up learning to live fragmented, instead of integrated, and I have a tendency to divide myself and my life into parts. Because I had this terrified, insecure side of myself (and was secretly coping using destructive behaviors like anorexia and bulimia), I learned to put on masks in order to do everything else. I became immersed in external appearance, perfectionism, achievement and control (the looking-good side) to make sure I was accepted and liked.
Life begins with an empty closet but our experiences—the blessings and the lessons—start to leave souvenirs behind and our choice of accessories, masks and hats, starts to grow.
What is the different between wearing a hat and a mask? A hat accentuates what's already wonderful, while a mask serves to conceal our true identity.
Sometimes I can still find myself putting on various roles like a costume, tweaking myself to suit each part, shifting in and out of different identities, and losing the real me in the shuffle. Thankfully, my awareness has grown in this area and I'm better able to recognize when I've slipped a mask on and need to come back to what's authentic and true. I'm learning to trust that the person I am is wonderful and most importantly, she is enough.
Today, I desire to be more fluid, more transparent—one self in all my daily endeavors and relationships, where the hat doesn't change who I am, it just decorates the real me! I encourage you to celebrate and embrace yourself too. All the wonderful and unique parts of you, knowing you also have one true identity, with many different branches and colorful hats. Wear them well, but always remember to be you!
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If you're struggling with an eating disorder, call the National Eating Disorder Association hotline at 1-800-931-2237.