This month I propose we reflect and write to loved ones about gratitude, beginning with the little things, the things we take for granted, like the miracle of our bodies: digestion and elimination, thirst and urination, our heartbeat and our breathing. So simple but so necessary, so ordinary yet so holy.
While recovering from shoulder surgery in April (and a setback due to many days of constipation followed by debilitating and exhausting dehydration) I was reminded by a friend of one of the morning prayers in traditional Jewish ritual, by some called "the pooping prayer".
Here is one excerpted version:
Praised are you, God, who has formed each human with wisdom,
has created in us veins, arteries and organs,
openings and cavities in a finely balanced network. If one of them be obstructed, wrongly open or closed, the body could not function according to its miraculous, intricate design,
and we would be unable to endure to stand before You. We thank You God who heals all flesh and performs wonders.
Reminded of the miracle of being alive and feeling grateful for a return to routine bathroom activity and for water, I wept grateful tears.
(I had momentarily succumbed to bodily and spiritual weakness, a feeling that I would not be able to return to my life as I've known it.)
Never in my 76 years of spontaneous positivity, hope, enthusiasm, and good humor had I experienced such a dearth of energy, such hopelessness. The "pooping gratitude prayer" and love from my family and friends made all the difference.
So many lessons and so unexpected -- gratitude for the mundane (birds waking me with song every morning, flowers blooming, spring sunshine), compassion for those suffering from severe pain and life-threatening illness, understanding and acceptance of increasing limitations of aging, gratitude for receiving simple expressions of love -- a phone call or a card, gratitude for humor and my ability to laugh, gratitude for how privileged I am to have a safe home, clean drinking water, and modern healthcare to help me heal.
Another lesson and more gratitude: A friend's wisdom, "Do every third thing." Without this surgery and its setback, I don't think I would have slowed down -- to rest -- to learn -- to prioritize -- and to choose -- which activities to continue & which to say goodbye to. How blessed I am to be alive and healthy.
Principles of Practice
1. Reflect about your life and health, lessons you've learned, gratitude you've experienced, related to the inevitable accidents and illnesses along your way.
2. Write a list of things you are grateful for -- from the mundane to the sacred and in between.
3. Choose one to three things from your list. Write a paragraph about each about the experience and your movement from frustration, hopelessness, or despair to gratitude. As much as you can, be vulnerable enough to write about feelings you would usually hide (telling yourself you are protecting others).
4. Write a legacy letter to someone you love or future generations sharing your journey from _________ to gratitude, offering your readers yourself at the bottom and the top. Close with a blessing of gratitude for them and your hope that they too will make the journey to gratitude for health and life.
My God I thank You for my life, body, and soul;
help me realize that I am something new,
someone who never existed before,
someone original and unique to the world.
For if there had ever been someone like me,
there would have been no need for me to exist.-- Martin Buber
May your gratitude define you,
heal your pain, inspire you to choose,
and may you bless those you love with your
gratitude.
Rachael Freed, Founder of Life-Legacies (for information, visit www.life-legacies.com), Senior Fellow at the University of Minnesota's Center for Spirituality and Healing, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Marriage and Family Therapist. An inspirational lecturer and workshop facilitator, she provides legacy-related programs and training for health care, philanthropic, and religious organizations, for public and non-profit corporations, and for diverse groups of individuals experiencing life transitions. She is the author of Women's Lives, Women's Legacies: Passing Your Beliefs and Blessings to Future Generations and The Women's Legacies Workbook for the Busy Woman: A Step-by-Step Guide for Writing a Spiritual-Ethical Will in 2 Hours or Less. Freed is currently working on: Your Legacy Matters: Harvesting the Love and Lessons of Your Life - An Intergenerational Guide for Creating Your Ethical Will..
Freed has trained cardiac professionals internationally to support cardiac families. The 25th Year Anniversary Edition of Heartmates: A Guide for the Spouse and Family of the Heart Patient will be published in August, 2012 and the Third Edition of The Heartmates Journal: A Companion for Partners of People with Heart Disease, are the only resources available to support the emotional and spiritual recovery of families coping with heart disease. For more information, visit www.heartmates.us.