Legislative Victory Boosts Trump's Ratings

Legislative Victory Boosts Trump's Ratings
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Note: This piece is a work of satire.

In a final, desperate push to pass any legislation at all here in his inaugural — and possibly final — year as president, Donald J. Trump has filed formal articles of impeachment against himself.

The resolution passed the House by a 434 to 1 margin with the lone hold out being Dana “I’m not accepting faxes or phone calls” Rohrabacher and passed the senate by a margin of 98 to 2 with the two holdouts being Paul Ryan and Dianne Feinstein who said she still thinks Trump should give himself a chance to be a good president

Within minutes, Trump’s poll numbers skyrocketed.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Chad Merman, an independent pollster who once corrected Nate Silver at a statistical conference breakout session. “Vrooom! From 31% to off the charts in just under 60 seconds.”

Not to scale.

Not to scale.

This means that Trump is looking at an exit approval rating that would be higher than any other president’s in the history of the US presidency, including Obama and, most importantly, higher than Hillary Clinton’s record-breaking 69% exit approval rating as Secretary of State.

“I think it’s safe to say that no one’s exit will ever be as popular as President Trump’s,” said Sarah Huckabee Sanders, “which just shows what a genius he is at getting ratings.”

“Bing, bing, bing!” said Trump.

Popular in the Community

Close

What's Hot