Lena Dunham's Moving Relationship Advice To A Friend

NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 23:  Filmmaker Lena Dunham attends the 2013 Time 100 Gala at Frederick P. Rose Hall, Jazz at Lincoln Cen
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 23: Filmmaker Lena Dunham attends the 2013 Time 100 Gala at Frederick P. Rose Hall, Jazz at Lincoln Center on April 23, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)

When we heard that Lena Dunham was participating in performance artist Miranda July's newest project -- "We Think Alone", an email-based series that explores how we present ourselves differently in person and online -- we expected that the partnership would result in thought-provoking art. What we didn't expect was heartfelt relationship advice and, ultimately, another reason to daydream about being invited into Dunham's inner circle.

"We Think Alone" sends weekly emails from the personal archives of participating celebrities to any and all individuals who sign up to receive them. The following is a personal email that Dunham sent to a friend ("K") last year, and allowed July to distribute to thousands of inboxes around the world this morning:

From: Lena Dunham
Date: Sun, Feb 12, 2012 at 7:42 PM

Subject: Re: facebook

To: K

Listen to me. I am a woman who loves and adores and, I believe, understands you. You did nothing wrong. He is NOT NICE. He says not nice things in a nice voice so they seem nice but they are not. He isn't kind or careful with you, he wants to suck the kindness out of you, and if he's like this after 10 years of group therapy then G-d help us all. He's not for you bc he's not for anyone. Do you hear me? Good. I understand SO much the appeal, but he's not worth your energy and someone like art guy may not be perfect or right but he's starting on a good foot by offering some of himself to you and wanting to give you pleasureful times

Ok my lecture is done


Since Dunham very deliberately chose to contribute this email to July's project, we can only assume she's trying to send a message to the world, and we're taking note: kindness and vulnerability are at the heart of every healthy relationship. Telling a friend that the person she's dating isn't good for her may be difficult, but by clearly explaining your rationalization and making your friend feel loved, it can be effectively (and adorably) accomplished.



Lena Dunham