Well this is it. The end of the Earmark Era. Republicans have come back to town with a mandate to cut spending, and they say they really mean it this time.
And what better way to end the Earmark Era than by earmarking funds for an Earmark Museum?
I say build it. Commission a design competition. Whether the winner is a hundred and twenty-five stories tall or a symbolic hole in the ground we've decided to stop digging, build the thing--right in the middle of the congressional district in the middle of the continental United States.
Maybe it should be striking--like a presidential library. Maybe we should have a reflecting pool out in front, complete with a half-completed bridge to nowhere so visitors can walk out to the middle, toss in coins and make wishes about their government. Each coin tossed could be symbolic of the billions corporations will infuse into elections.
The Earmark Museum could put on Smithsonian-like exhibits based on great moments in earmarking. "Defense Spending Earmarks." "Legendary Earmarkers of the South." That sort of thing. The museum could sponsor convocations and seminars with titles like "Congressional Flim-Flam in Post-Earmark America." Or, "Whither Pork?"
School children on field trips could visit interactive exhibits and get first hand experience in the politics of, "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours." Even their trips to the bathrooms could be educational. They could learn how, "One hand washes the other."
It has to happen. It must be done. All we need is one lame duck representative willing to make a totally futile and meaningless gesture. And aren't futile and meaningless gestures really what Congress is all about?
Who? Who in this magical season of lame duckery will step up and earmark funds for an Earmark Museum?