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Let's Give the Braided Beard it's Moment

You can't blame the beard for wanting to be included in the fun of body hair color and adornment. Body hair is body hair, after all, and we live in an age of anything goes.
07/24/2015 01:21pm ET | Updated December 6, 2017
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You can't blame the beard for wanting to be included in the fun of body hair color and adornment. Body hair is body hair, after all, and we live in an age of anything goes.

7U6A4324We have watched long bushy beards make their biggest comeback since the pioneer days of trappers and lumberjacks. They radiate from the bottom half of dudes faces, and we wonder why don't they do something with them. Something besides "groom" them with beard pomade and then get cheese stuck in them.

Beards, on the other hand, are wondering why ladies get to have all the fun of hairstyling. By god if women can dye their armpit hair, in this current social climate of dumping gender norms and leveling the playing field, surely a beard can have a little fun, without stooping to the level of decoration with Christmas balls or the messy impracticality of the floral beard (we wanted that one to work out so bad!)........Maybe, for the sake of both expression and practicality and neatness, it is time to rock a beard braid, with a little ombre, and maybe a flower stuck in it (if we are lucky.)

Beards, we agree with you on this. It IS your time. We believe that the hair that grows off of the bottom half of your mug is fair game for hair play, and we think that it is high time to help you take your moment in the limelight. Also, we are secretly jealous that you have the ability to grow hair off your face, and we would like to see you take full advantage of that wild hair by doing as many different kinds of braids to it as possible, also by curling it in various ways.

May we suggest you start your beard styling journey with a French braid? Don't worry.....If you need help, we can braid it for you. But pay attention to how we do it because we think that this trend might just stick around like that cheddar in your mustache.