Let's Go, Chickenhawks! Preempt Rangel's Draft

Cap'n ChickenhawkCongressman Charlie Rangel plans to reintroduce a bill calling for the reinstating of the draft under the banner statement: if you're prone to knee-jerking America into war again, you had better be prepared to put your hawk-ass where you hawk-beak is. Otherwise, think twice before you rah-rah another misguided armed conflict because Uncle Sam will be asking you for help. And that help will involve a bit more than slapping a yellow-ribbon magnet on your SUV before waddling downstairs to play SOCOM.

The bill's ultimate fate not withstanding, I figure while the president and Senator McCain examine more troops in Iraq, those of you who are so inclined should volunteer right now. And if you're older than 42, but you have service-aged children, bestow upon them your old W'04 bumper sticker and demand they support the war by signing up. You chickenhawks like preemption, so it's time to preempt Congressman Rangel. The links:

Or for those of you in favor of the privatization of our military, check out the Middle Eastern job opportunities at Halliburton. This is a recommended path for those of you who can't do more than two pull-ups or more than 35 sit-ups (the minimum physical requirement for service). But at least you'll be in The Shit and, because you're so gung ho, you'll get to test your full-steam-ahead bravery while under fire -- without the assistance of wussy firearms. Who needs weapons? You're stay-the-course brave! It'll be just you, your truck and a good old fashioned two-way radio when the hajis start lobbing RPGs.

Let's go, chickenhawks. Preempt Charlie Rangel's draft. Over the next week or so, we can expect to read about a sudden jump in military recruitment primarily composed of Americans who think the Iraq War was a most excellent adventure -- but especially amongst those who don't want America to cut-and-run like all those effete San Francisco liberals.

And if the draft was somehow reinstated, I guarantee that a large percentage of chickenhawks would immediately 1) flip-flop and begin to second guess this and future wars, 2) figure out ways to attain a medical excuse or college deferment for themselves or their kids, 3) hide all of their military dress up costumes, and 4) cry.

Meanwhile, draft or not, working- and middle-class families will continue to send their sons and daughters into a war which the chickenhawks, with all their faux-patriotic sloganeering, blindly triggered without any thought given to the facts, the history, the motivations or the consequences of their words, deeds and bumper magnets. The lazy and incurious will continue to lob coward-bombs from the comfort of their computers and talk show microphones while the grunts they sent into war are maimed, tortured and killed; all so Republicans could be re-elected and so the administration's corporate associates could profit from our tax dollars and the blood of our fellow countrymen.

It's time to go long, chickenhawks. Or will you cut-and-run from the war you want so badly yet refuse to fight?

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On a side note, I can't look at Charlie Rangel without repeating CHAAHHLIE RANGEL! from the Stephanie Miller Show. Thanks. Thanks for that, Stephanie.