If you claim to have never lied to your partner while in a relationship, chances are, you’re lying.
Below, we asked women and men to share the weightiest lie they told an ex while in a relationship. From white lies ― “yeah, I love that random indie rock band you listen to” ― to bigger, more substantial lies ― “yeah, I want a monogamous relationship” ― scroll down to see what they had to say.
1. “I lied about remembering his birthday. I would forget his birthday, over and over again. It would casually come up in conversation and he would be like, ‘You remember when my birthday is, right?’ and I would just nod along, like ‘Uh, yeah, of course.’ He eventually realized I had no idea. I could never remember it for some reason.” ― Kara D.
2. “I pretended to be into his hobbies. I’m glad I don’t have to be overly enthusiastic anymore.” ― Natalya J.
3. “My ex came over to see me in Africa from Europe for a friend’s wedding. We were going to spend the week together. I told her I had taken care of the accommodations when I didn’t. That little white lie ― more than little, to be honest ― ruined my relationship. I essentially left her with the bill and it’s one of my biggest regrets. I was broke at the time but I really wanted to see her, I should of came clean.” ― Kwaku G.
4. “The biggest lie I ever told my ex was that the sex was satisfying. The truth was, we spent years working to make things more exciting sexually but ultimately, we lacked any chemistry ― something that’s just not possible to create from scratch.” ― Nicole L.
5. “There was a point in our relationship when the chemistry between us was starting to fade. He asked me if there was anything that he could do to bring back my feelings for him. I lied and told him that I was OK and that there was nothing he should worry about. A few weeks later, I walked away from his life without giving him the proper closure he deserved. I got scared that I would feel stuck if I stayed with him and I thought it would hurt less if I left quietly. I was wrong.” ― Angelo C.
6. “While away on a beach vacation, I received text after text from my boyfriend. I liked the guy but I also wanted to relax and take in my amazing surroundings. So, I decided not to respond. Later that night, we spoke on the phone (I used an actual payphone and calling card to get in touch). He asked if I had received his texts. I told him I hadn’t, that the phone was clearly not working. He gave up on texting, I called when it worked for me and I enjoyed a peaceful (text-free) holiday with my friends.” ― Shannon Day, author of Martinis & Motherhood: Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!
7. “I’d say the biggest lie I told an ex was that I wanted to be in a monogamous relationship when I didn’t want that. Eventually, a life coach told me, ‘I don’t care what kind of agreement you have in a relationship, I just care you respect the agreement.’ Now I’m clear, honest, and communicate what I need and want throughout the relationship.” ― Bryan K.
8. “The lie I told my husband was that I didn’t want a separation. I kept telling myself things would get better, but it was obvious they weren’t. I chose not to see the reality but to look for the fantasy. I suppose the first lie I told was to myself.” ― Patty Blue Hayes, author and life coach
9. “The biggest lie I’ve told in relationship is that I was all in and completely committed to it while I slowly withdrew and became a thin wisp of myself. I think this is the biggest lie we can tell, because it is a full-bodied lie that we are not only telling the other but we are telling ourselves.” ― Amy Segreti, writer at Live All Of You
10. “I’ve always tried really hard not to lie to boyfriends but one lie that I used to resort back to with this one ex had to do with music. Whenever I told him that I liked a weird hipster band he showed me, I was for sure lying. I just wanted him to think I was cool and alternative like him!” ― Alexia LaFata, a senior editor at Elite Daily