Life In The Fast (Healing) Lane


Sorry There Is No Express Lane.

Sometimes you just have to click your own heels and cease from looking for solutions to all that ails you outside of yourself. Because as Dorothy learned, there's no place like home. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I don't think we need to seek out gurus -- I think we need to become our own. Tapping back into our own intuitive power brings us closer to our best selves.

Let's face it, we're all searching for something...a partner, a better job, more money and the biggie -- meaning, to live meaningful, purposeful, happy lives. And because we perceive our lives as missing something, we remain in a state of vulnerability, unhealed. Rarely are we content with what we have. Yes, in ways, searching keeps us alive and inspired, striving and growing provided that we are recognizing all that we do have -- and not rushing the healing process. There is no express lane in the healing department.

I'm recognizing a shift, a new undercurrent afoot. The messages that people are resonating with the most are those told by 'real' people having 'real' experiences. And it's simple to understand why. We want to hear the stories of people who have come through the coals of destruction and have made it across the arc to the other side, all the while juggling the realities of everyday life. And when we go along for the ride of that transformation, a piece of us is inspired to know that if they can do it, so can we.

Recently, a woman I know was telling me half-jokingly how 'unsuccessful' her business model is, because in essence she coaches clients to care for themselves, which ultimately eliminates herself from the equation altogether. I laughed and later thought, how wonderful - much like a parent who pushes a child out of the nest -- truly helping others is to help them help themselves. And if we want to help ourselves we need to take a seat and get reacquainted with our true emotions, fears, messy pieces and parts. I'm not talking about the buffed and puffed versions we have grown so accustomed to presenting to the world each day.

That's not to say that we don't need help from friends, family, dream-keepers, support staff and those who remind us of what we are made of -- and who are there for us in the time of crisis. When I hit the lowest point of my life, I tried many things to transition from pain and suffering to healing. And when we are in pain we simply want it to stop, so oftentimes we are willing to try anything. That's great if we move from point A to point B, but the problem comes when we get stuck -- when we cease from connecting to our inner voices. For the most part though, we try to rush right on through the process, like checking items off a grocery list. Sure, when I was in pain, I would have liked it all to have been over with the snap of a finger -- but that's just not what heals us. Rushing the healing process only stuffs emotions away...and mark my word, those emotions will rear their ugly head back up at the first opportunity. We can run, but we can't hide.

We shuffle through life in all of our busy-ness. The momentum picks up and it becomes our new norm. We forget where we were going, what we were doing and why. Tell me who I am again?

It's hard to appreciate the potholes of life. I get that, but as you add a few more to your life's resume you begin to view them from a new vantage point. Clearly, I don't like when things in my life don't go according to my plan and to my liking, but I have acquired the hard-earned tools and the faith (in myself) to know that I can handle this. And like a houseplant, when nurtured -- weeded, watered, bathed in sunshine -- I grow.

There isn't a day that a new book doesn't arrive in my house. I love to be inspired by the amazingness that others are creating in the world. Ultimately, however, it is my job to glean a sage pearl or two from them and bring it on home -- to implement these messages into something practical and tangible. Our job is to assimilate the wisdom into our own human experience. Clearly that can take time, but remind yourself that you are the maestro here and no matter how low you are feeling, deep down, you do know what is best for you. When was the last time you asked?

The truth is that we don't own up to our own stuff. We waste a lot of time complaining about what we don't have, don't have time for, need more of -- instead of recognizing that it's all a part of the growth process. Life is busy and full and we can't be all things to everyone, we can't show up for everything -- but we can show up for ourselves. The more we create the space to feel our emotions, to own our choices and decisions, the sooner the healing can begin.

So how do we help ourselves heal in a real way?

Get Reacquainted: Remember who you are. What were your big dreams? What lights you up?

Reconnect: No matter how many opinions you acquire or what inspiration you receive, the true healer lies within. Connect to your inner GPS. Start with a simple: Does this feel good to me?

Take Stock: Assess the situation. Take a pulse on the various aspects of your life: your self-care, relationships, career and finances. Is there one particular area that makes you cringe slightly? Head straight in that direction. That's where you want to turn the lights on.

Make A Move: What one thing, no matter the size, could you do or insert into your everyday life on behalf of yourself? When you make your healing a priority, healing ensues.

YOU are your greatest healer. Remember, feeling is healing! Let the healing begin -- you needn't look elsewhere!

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Photo: Richard Mallett