In a few days I will be joining the half-century club. Most of my friends beat me to it, including my husband. My sister was inducted two years ago. My father's been a card carrying member for over 20 years. Yes, I'm turning the big 5 - 0 and I'm excited. My girlfriends already threw me a surprise party but before I officially turn the corner, here's a few things I learned during my decade of being 40.
- I learned that divorce is not the end of the world. It may feel like it but it isn't.
- I learned how how to live a vibrant and purposed life. Breast cancer forced me off auto-pilot and out of a state of toxic overwhelm.
- At 40, I started doing yoga. I learned that yoga isn't a doing thing but more of a practicing thing. I'm still practicing.
- At 43, I took a month of free Muay Thai Kickboxing classes. I quickly became addicted. I recently learned that "Muay" in Thai is derived from the Sanskrit word "Mavya" which means 'to bind together.' Yoga pretty much means the same thing. I think I finally figured out why I'm still practicing both of these venerable arts.
- After thinking I would never fall in love again, I did. My husband and I have been happily married for seven years.
- I don't think I'd be as happy as I am if I hadn't shed the emotional baggage from my first marriage.
- Forgiveness really is for the person doing the forgiving. It has absolutely nothing to do with the person being forgiven. For those of you still holding a grudge -- let it go. You'll add years of happiness to your life.
- Weight bearing exercise is good for your bones. I reversed bone loss due to chemotherapy and five years of taking tamoxifen by practicing yoga, martial arts, and walking.
- I never dreamed of how awesome being a grand parent would be until I became one.
- I learned that my girlfriends are priceless.
- I learned that achievement is not just for the 20 or 30 somethings. In my 40s I acheived both my first and second degree black belt in Muay Thai and I became a certified yoga teacher.
- I learned that I was capable of doing much more than I physically thought possible. I beat breast cancer at 40 and at 47 I discovered that I could run faster and farther than I could when I was 24.
- I learned that I have two ears and one mouth. I listen more and talk less.
- I learned that I don't know it all and I'm fine with that.
- I learned that 'No' is a complete sentence and the earth still maintains her orbit when I say it.
- I learned that expectations are a fast track to resentments.
- I learned that unless I communicate my needs and wants, no one is going to magically do the do for me.
- I learned that if I know I cannot read someone else's mind, no one can read mine, either.
- I learned that a problem isn't a problem if I can write a check - it's an expense. This was a game changer for me.
- I learned to no longer attach my emotions to money.
- I learned that happiness is truly an inside job and that no amount of outside things will fill an inner void.
- I learned to stop comparing myself to other people. Comparision is truly the theif of joy.
- I learned that perfectionism is the greatest con on earth.
- Once I broke up with perfection, I found the courage to be me.
- I learned that fear is a one line arguement.
- I learned to speak up for myself.
- I learned that I teach others how to treat me by how I treat myself.
- I learned to become my own best advocate.
- I learned to value myself.
- I learned to trust myself.
- I learned to be kind to myself.
- I learned to love who I am.
- I learned acceptance of the wholesome what is so.
- I learned that if I didn't make myself a priority, no one else would, either.
- I learned to listen to my Inner Knower.
- I learned what it was like to be dumped for another woman.
- I learned what is was like to be bald, pumped full of life saving poison, and left breastless.
- I learned to be raw, striped down and bare - no excuses, no complaints, and no blaming others for my circumstances.
- I learned that I am not my story.
- I learned to be me.
I can't wait to turn 50. Bring. It. On!
Earlier on Huff/Post50: