James Harden and the Houston Rockets have a huge problem on their hands, and it’s not Stephen Curry or Klay Thompson or any member of the Golden State Warriors. It’s Lil B, also known as Brandon McCartney, also known as the Based God.
The Based God, as we will refer to him from here on out, decided to call out the Rockets' shooting guard at the worst possible time for the team. At issue? Harden’s celebratory dance, which the Bay Area rapper (and social media genius) sees as dance theft of the highest order, a ripoff off his signature “cooking dance.”
For comparison's sake, let's examine Harden’s "I made a cool shot" celebration. Note the stirring is performed at an angle similar to that of an egg beater.
And here is a version of Lil B's "cooking dance," although there are multiple manners and angles by which it can be performed:
On Thursday, just hours before the Game 2 of Western Conference Finals between the Rockets and the Warriors, the Based God sent out a tweet that sent shivers down the backs of Rockets fans who know of the Based God’s powers.
He soon after confirmed to TMZ what many in the Houston area feared: "If Harden doesn't tell what he is doing, which is the Lil B cooking dance, he will be cursed. He needs to stop stealing Lil B swag without showing love." (The Based God supposedly gave Harden until Game 3 to show him some love. Harden has maintained that the dance comes from a Houston-area rapper.)
Believers in the powers of the Based God, it needs to be said, freaked out.
@LILBTHEBASEDGOD @warriors BE KIND TO US LIL B DONT CURSE US PLEASE! Houston loves you too!!!!
— Viva La Lisa (@vivalalisa23) May 21, 2015
@LILBTHEBASEDGOD I apologize for any wrong doing on the behalf of james harden... don't do this.
— ox (@czarzion) May 21, 2015
A number of hours later, the Based God doubled down, and a fear swept over the areas of Houston familiar with rap, Twitter and all that sort of stuff.
For a lot of Thursday night, it seemed like the Based God had actually held off on cursing Harden, as the shooting guard went for a monstrous stat line of 38 points, 10 rebounds and 9 assists. But then on the final play of the game, his team down one, some overwhelming -- and perhaps otherworldly -- force appeared to strip Harden of his MVP-worthy skills, reducing him to nothing more than a man on a basketball court. If you don't believe in curses, you could say he choked.
At that point, it was clear that the Based God had not waited until Game 3 to make his move, as previously promised. The Based God subtly implied as much on Twitter.
And the people bowed down.
And then, of course, the people made memes.
@LILBTHEBASEDGOD pic.twitter.com/KMqMEPAs1i
— LIL B ... CUTIE !!!! (@LilBHasBitches) May 22, 2015
Let's just say it's pretty clear Harden knew what happened too.
We reached out to the Based God for comment but have yet to hear back:
Just admit it, James: You stole the dance. Do it for the good of the team.