GRAY IN L.A. Unhappy? Just Live By The F-Words


Life is sometimes tough in a big city that doesn't give a hoot about you when it comes down to it. And so here I was, a bit forlorn, a little depressed, without orientation.

"Why don't you simply live a life where you do what you really want to do!" a woman friend (with a PhD, no less) advised matter-of-factly. But how does a rambunctious feminist with an attitude fare in this city where older age isn't exactly a crime but not the greatest idea either?

Of course! How could I have forgotten the power tool that works for all women? When in doubt, when feeling like whining, reach inside and start digging out the practical, self-confident Bad Girl in you that hides in every female, young and old.

Within minutes my renegade spirit resurfaced -- rather refreshed.

Strong, unapologetic words popped up in my mind, and interestingly enough they all started with an "f' -- and isn't that befitting! A quick personal "A-list" was formed that was filled with vibrant "F-words" (yes, that one, too!) like fiery, ferocious, fab, fashionable and -- last not least -- feminist. I now live by the F-words. It's freaking, f#cking fantastic and fun to claim your space and live in it, too!

In the old days it was presumed that aging brings nothing but kindness, patience and very mild manners out in women. Rules that inhibit and stifle, break spines and sadden the soul are usually reserved for the very young and the very old. I'm not that old yet but I sometimes feel the grip of limitations that is being put on age groups. You can't do this, you shouldn't look like that, and worst of all: you're not allowed to feel certain ways. F#ck you! See, it works.

I live a strange, independent bohemian life -- like a person with the restless heart of a dreamer. Still on the road, I guess, not exactly looking for trouble, but maybe searching for some parts of my soul that keep hiding from me in this tricky way only souls can. I want to find more of those parts; I'm still on a spiritual crusade. And along the way still learn how to be authentic and remain rebellious and creative. That also means that Seniorville, normal, nice, complacency and invisibility are not really my thing. Ever! F#ck it!

I just heard several female Hillary supporters complaining that she is too friendly and polite and needs to toughen up. Hillary, are you listening? Let your hair down and live by the F-words -- especially the most famous one.

What did Helen Mirren, that awesome beloved Brit with the clever mind and that refreshingly big mouth, say recently? "At 70-years-old, if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to use the words 'fuck off' much more frequently." See, if Helen can say it -- so can we! Among some other real nice F-words. Like FREEDOM.


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