I have this incredibly fabulous and scary habit -- I live beyond my means all the time. Not only that, but I encourage others to do the same. All the time.
That's some risky advice, isn't it?
So what does it mean to live beyond your means?
"Our Means" talks about what we currently have in our lives. Staying within our means speaks to limitations and living smaller then what you believe you have in your financial, sexual and emotional boxes. The rationale is pretty simple. If you stay within what you now you have and don't "overspend," you won't get a shortfall and get into trouble. It's all about not getting into trouble by "overdoing."
Right. We don't want "trouble" in our lives do we? Or maybe, the issue in our lives is that by staying within all the various ways we stay in "our means" is creating a very boring life.
But here's the thing: In order to change your life, you need to transform your form or "your means." You need to risk and go outside of all of the obstacles you have created to "keep you safe."
If you stayed inside who you think you are and decided that your physical form, your age, your financial situation, or even your relationship with your sexuality was a hard form that you had to carefully stay inside in order to be safe -- then how are you suppose to transform your life?
So how is living within your means keeping you stuck?
Perhaps you are not going on adventures in your life when you believe that "your means" is a family structures that "limits" your ability to try new things.
Is "staying within your means" the story you have about how to dress yourself because of age, weight or public perception?
Is "staying within your means" choosing not to pursue a love relationship because it doesn't fit all the right boxes that you believe you need to have?
And what about money? Am I really saying to spend more money than you currently have? Maybe. Or spend it differently. Skip the shoes and buy the adventure, or the experience. Experiences push us to live beyond our means on every possible level and keep us feeling alive.
Create "more means." I totally believe that if you decide that you are going to live bigger than you currently are, that you should go for it, and expand your means. Figure out ways to grow the money so you can have what you want in your life. Figure out payment plans, "Pleasure Plans" and expansion plans at the same time. Have the guts to do something different. Stretch! Let it be a little bit scary. You don't have forever.
Get rid of the stories, that "living beyond your means" is selfish and irresponsible. I kinda think that living "within" whatever story you have created for yourself is keeping you from living in technicolor and that is a waste of a perfectly delicious life.
Pamela Madsen runs retreats around the world to help women re-connect to their bodies and sensuous nature and is author of the book; "Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner" (Rodale 2011).
Check out Pamela's free library of sexuality and relationship videos here.