Don’t get me wrong — my Mom taught me just about everything I needed to know as I entered into the adult world. However, I feel like some things you do just have to learn on your own. As I look back, here are a few lessons I wish I knew before I got to where I am now.
1. Other people’s opinions on you don’t matter — what you think does.
When we are young kids, everyone tells us, “don’t let other people get to you” but it is definitely easier said than done. As we get older, I believe this becomes easier but is something that takes work. Pay attention to the things that make you happy. Whether that is your job, your friends, your faith, your hobby — whatever that is, acknowledge that it makes you glad to be alive and that is all that matters.
2. It takes a while for true friends to surface.
You will find your tribe. You will find your people. Don’t freak out because you feel like you don’t have “true” friends, they will come. Before you know it, you will be surrounded by girls you will one day call your bridesmaids and that is an incredible feeling and worth the wait. With that being said, weave through the toxic people and let go of the people that don’t add positivity to your life.
3. Be okay with where you’re at.
Wherever you may be right now (starting or finishing school, working at an entry level position, figuring out what exactly it is you want to do, etc.) be TRULY okay with that. Enjoy the moment you’re in because you will never get back to this exact time and once it is gone, we seem to appreciate it more.
4. You will always want more and that’s okay.
Whether it is your personal looks or your life goals, it is okay to not feel 100% satisfied. It takes a long time to fully accept who you are. However, it is not okay to beat yourself up for not being exactly what you want to be right now. Use that time to acknowledge the change you want and set a plan of how to get to your next goal.
5. Give yourself time.
You don’t have to have everything figured out in this exact moment and one of the best lessons I learned is that you’re actually not supposed to have it all figured out.
The other day, I was talking with a woman that I have known for many years and have watched grow within her career. She is established and has an outstanding job, that most would view as a successful stopping point. While we were chatting, she told me she still believes there is room for growth within her career and more she can do, even though she is not exactly sure what that is yet or how she would go about it. To hear that from someone who is a little older than me, with their dream job — is extremely refreshing.
6. Save your money throughout college, even if it’s just a little bit.
Simple but important. Obviously everyone knows the saying “broke college kid” however, it is possible to save a little bit and that will help tremendously post graduation.
7. Use other successful women as mentors, not threats.
For some unknown reason, women are created to fear each other when realistically, we should learn from one another. Women who have figured out who they are now and who they want to be should not be viewed as a threat but rather someone you can chat with and use to improve your own personal growth. Find women who inspire you and reach out to them, you’ll be surprised with how many will want to help and offer advice!
8. A balanced and healthy lifestyle is SO important.
This I learned quickly post college graduation, however I definitely wish I learned it sooner. Focusing on what you put into your body through your diet and maintaining adequate exercise, makes all the difference in your daily life. Read articles about nutrients, try new exercise classes you may like — have an open mind to whatever will help you create this lifestyle. Also, focus on your mental well-being and make sure you are checking in with yourself and how you are doing.
9. Never stop learning.
Whether you are done with school or not, never stop researching and learning things that keep you intrigued. You can always learn more and I think that is so important. A friend of mine told me to start my mornings by doing this and it has made a huge difference in my day to day schedule. I start most days feeling satisfied that I optionally expanded my knowledge.
10. “Does it matter?”
A yoga instructor I had over the summer started the class by saying, “before you get upset about something and completely overthink it, ask yourself ‘does it even matter?’” this completely changed my outlook on everything. I constantly ask myself this before I start panicking about whatever it may be. I slow down and really question if what is happening in this moment, will have any later affect on me.