You ever see a stray cat and think about how it got outside by itself, how long it's been on it's own, and how it's surviving? You think to yourself, "oh how cute" but.......
But it's too fat, it LOOKS scary, it LOOKS like it MIGHT have a disease. In your mind you look at the outside of it and think that it might be violent, and unmanageable. "I would take it in," but one of the previous things mentioned, runs through your mind. The thought that your home isn't big enough or you can't afford to take care of it persuades you to keep going.
You see the scraggly dog walking the streets with it's tangled fur, red eyes, and weird facial expression. It comes to mind that the dog has rabies, it's a mean or evil dog, it's gross and filthy, RUN!
That's the same thing that a lot of foster parents think about some of the kids they see. They see the outside and assume based on what they've read. They have no idea about the true personality of the kids because their JUDGING a book by it's cover. That little dirty girl isn't dirty because she just came home from school to the agency, she's really dirty because her current foster wont wash her clothes. No one knows that the little girl who looks tired and weird, is looking that way because she's trying to figure out rather or not she'll be what you want.
She's been LOST for years. Because they keep taking her in with assumptions of who she should be or how she should act. She's been trying to figure it out. Every time she thinks she has it down packed, she's moved. She's lost about having an identity because her identity isn't good enough for any home she gets put into. She doesn't know how to find her way because every home tells her that THEIR way is the right way. She's searching for a LOVING and ACCEPTING home, wanting to be found and discovered so that she can BREATHE! So that she can be found, so that she can find herself and be herself.
Some say that foster kids tend to have schizophrenia disorders or personality disorders. It only makes sense that they would be confused about what or who they are when most have been forced to be like someone else. They struggle, I struggled with my identity because I was told that the REAL and TRUE me wasn't good enough, it was weird or it wasn't acceptable. I became whoever I was told to be in order to have someone love me, but all of the love received was FLASE. I struggled with being lost for years. I went through the awkward moment of doing "what everyone else was" doing. It didn't work out well for me, it caused me more drama then acceptance. I struggled to learn how to be myself when I was around others.
It took me until 25 or 26 years old to JUST BE ME! I stopped feeling so lost because I stopped looking for what I thought was supposed to have been me. I started to think and see things for myself and form my OWN opinions and thoughts instead of accepting everyone else's as being the RIGHT ones. I'm still learning to find my way even at 28 years old, but I'm catching on to how to do it and be OKAY with it. I once was lost, but now, I am FOUND. I am at peace because I'm no longer trying to find my way through a maze that doesn't EXIST!