So, it’s almost that time of the year again. I’m not talking about tax time. I’m talking about Valentine’s Day. The day of ooey, gooey love and romance. The day when chocolate boxes, roses, love poems, wine, expensive dinners and kissing abound. Blah! (But I will take the chocolate and wine.) If you are reading this you are most likely going through separation and divorce and probably not looking forward to Valentine’s Day at all. After 1 year of being divorced myself, I’m still single and I’m still not looking forward to Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day focuses mainly on the love between romantic partners. But I’d like to bring attention to an even more important love: the love you have for yourself. So, I’ve decided to devote the entire month of February to ways we can practice self-care and self-love while going through divorce. I’m calling it a Self-Love Celebration!
The Death of Self-Love
Since embarking on my divorce journey, I’ve spoken with many women who are experiencing the emotional turmoil of separation and divorce. Three of my friends are currently going through a divorce and several acquaintances and friends have shared their stories of infidelity, heartache, and other marital struggles. The common theme in all these stories is shattered self-esteem, and losing a sense-of-self due to the stress and sadness of their failing marriage. Even in a relatively happy marriage, we women tend to lose ourselves in the titles and roles of “wife” and “mom”. In an unhappy marriage, we tend to sacrifice even more of ourselves in an attempt to fix our marriage and make our spouse love us in the way we believe we should be loved. And during separation and divorce, everything we connected our image and self-worth to is suddenly broken. Marriage and divorce are hard. But I’m finding that loving ourselves, truly and unconditionally, is even more difficult.
I started my business, The HeartFull Journey, to bring attention to the importance of learning to love yourself while going through separation and divorce. Practicing self-love has bountiful benefits that will help you throughout your divorce and beyond. Practicing self-love can help you:
- manage your emotions during divorce
- rebuild your confidence
- help your kids through the divorce
- heal past wounds and let go of baggage
- reevaluate your beliefs and expectations of love and marriage
- rediscover your passions and desires
- attract a high-quality relationship when you are ready
You can practice self-love in every area of your life. Your interaction with others, your inner-dialogue, exercise, and the food you eat are just some areas filled with opportunity to practice loving yourself.
Commit to the Self-Love Challenge
The Self-Love Celebration is held during the entire month of February. Each day includes an inspirational quote, an activity and an optional selfie you can share in the Love Yourself Through Divorce Facebook Group.
Here is a sneak peek of some of the days of the celebration:
- Day 1: Journal Day – List 28 things you love about yourself
- Day 9: Date Day – Take yourself out to lunch or dinner
- Day 18: Exercise Day – Try kick boxing. It’s a great way to get your anger and frustration out!
- Day 27: Spirituality Day – Create a sacred space in your home for reflection, prayer and meditation
The Self-Love Celebration will be hosted in the Love Yourself Through Divorce Facebook Group. If you are already a member of the group, Yay! If you are not a member please sign up to receive a link to the Facebook Group so you can participate with other moms who are celebrating self-love, too.
I can’t wait to get this Self-Love Celebration started! Hope to see you there.