When my family asked if I’d write a bit about Thanksgiving and how grateful our family is for so much, the first thing I thought of was how life is so full of surprises. Never did I imagine the gratitude I’d feel for raising daughters. As a kid growing up in New England, my world consisted of dirt bikes, scraped knees and hockey. As a young adult, my passions shifted…though not much. While still a fan of scraped knees and hockey, I found work as a police officer very satisfying. Testosterone was my second language and I loved all things rough and tumble. Then I moved to Florida. I met Barbie. I fell in love. I changed careers; settled down; started a family. Two daughters later, I learned that “boy tough” and “girl tough” are two different things. Girl tough is stronger.
Mackenzie and Madison (Mack ‘n’ Maddie) are the focus of my life. They give me purpose; meaning. Since their births, I have lived every minute with them in mind. As much of a “guys” guy as I am, I’ve proudly donned nail polish, braided hair, volunteered as a cheer coach, served as a human trampoline, sung Hannah Montana songs at the top of my lungs, and lately…I’ve cried. I’ve cried a lot…something my tough girls don’t do much.
I’ve always worked hard- anyone who knows me knows that. Taking care of the people I love has been job one and I’ve felt great pride for never needing help; for having broad shoulders; for being able to “do for mine” and still having something to give to others. I’ve worked long hours, gone without things so my girls can have, fostered a strong family network so the kids feel loved and shared in the joys and struggles of the people around me. I’ve been the guy who can fix anything- a broken toy, a broken car, a broken heart…and it always made me feel like a million bucks to be the hero of my house. I’ve lived every day being grateful for the beautiful life I have, even if I didn’t think much about how fast it can all change.
When Maddie got sick, my head was spinning. There was barely time to process the details before Barbie and I were forced to make critical decisions about her care. In a matter of weeks, we went from routine life to fighting a terminal illness. It’s been a roller-coaster and we’ve had moments when there was more bad news than good. Things unfolded so quickly- before I knew it, our sweet family was separated by more than a thousand miles (1130 of them, to be exact) while the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio works to save our sweet Maddie. We have no idea what our future holds, but we are hopeful Maddie will recover and we will return to life as we knew it.
Watching Maddie fight has taught me so much. Even as she has suffered, she has smiled. As hurdles have been placed before her, she has conquered them. She’s “girl tough” and I am awestruck by her courage. When it looked as if the end was near, she rallied and fought harder. She is amazing. Something about her has inspired others to fight too. She has a magnetic personality and even in sickness, it shines through. Some say she has a greater cause we aren’t meant to understand. While I’m honored to know what a difference she is making to others, it has come at a great expense to her and she has suffered. All I know is how badly I want to take it away from her. I want to fix this…and I can’t. For the first time ever, I don’t have a way to be the hero in my kid’s story and it kills me. I have to rely on the help of others; a humbling experience to say the least.
With tears in my eyes as I write this, I can honestly say that despite the incredible challenges before us, this Thanksgiving, we are grateful for so much. We are grateful Maddie is home to visit and share the holiday with us. We are grateful to have raised two amazing, smart, strong, independent, kind, funny, beautiful daughters. We are grateful for her amazing medical care. We are grateful for hope. We are grateful for the kindness and love of our family. We are grateful for the support of our friends, our church, our community, and the generosity of strangers. Most of all, we are grateful for THIS MOMENT- the only one we have. There is no promise there will be another so we are learning to cherish each one.
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