The Blog

Magazine Mythology & Why You Should Rethink What Women's Mags Tell You About Men

Headlines advising us to withhold bits of our selves to earn the right to a good relationship damage our self-esteem. Following a template won't get you what you want from a relationship.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Hoards of magazines offering up the keys to the male mind can't be wrong. Women are dying to know how to read 'em, how to get what they want out of 'em and what they're doing wrong.

Unfortunately, most of what I read is rooted in insecurity.

Make no mistake: When you contrive behavior in order to glean an outcome of your choosing, it's called manipulation. Ultimately, following the guidance offered to us in terms of winning at the dating game also ensures that we're doomed to the confines of a faux personality we've created to effect an end.

The art of pummeling and pushing a man into getting what YOU want completely overlooks the purpose of a meaningful relationship in the first place.

Follow the advice in most women's magazines too succinctly, and you'll find yourself a shadow of yourself rather than a woman remotely capable of engaging in a vibrant, intimate relationship. Embroiled in a battle of wills, you attract the worst kind of men and wonder what the @$#$ happened.

Think of Scarlett and Rhett, the timeless tale of love left wanting. Why? Because the battle went too far. The thrill was lost. The heat of the chase ends eventually and you'd better have more than battle banter to fall back on. This was never meant to be a battle.

The mythology spread by those who are usually unsuccessful at relationships to begin with -- the speculative and theoretical attempts on the parts of those who would rather delve into dishonesty than risk asking for what they want and expecting to get it from someone sometime. These are the undoings of our ability to carry out happy and healthy long-term relationships with one another.

Those headlines advising us to withhold bits of our true selves in order to earn the right to a good relationship simply damage our self-esteem and further mire us in the false notion that being dishonest or following a template can get you what you want from a relationship.

Wouldn't you rather be loved for your authentic self than the made-up magazine myth that these magazines are trying to make you? There is someone out there who will love you for who you are, girls, but only if you're being YOU first.