Man Found With No Opinion Whatsoever About 'American Sniper'

In a stunning news development, a Trumbull County, Ohio resident has been discovered who claims to have no opinion whatsoever about the Clint Eastwood-directed film American Sniper.

Lucas Ballingtown, 45, apparently saw the film last week at his local AMC theatre and, according to those who know him well, didn't really give it much thought. "He told me he didn't get what the big deal is about," said Ballingtown's wife, Arlene. "As a result, I am now in the process of filing for divorce."

Following his admission, the Internet world immediately turned on Ballingtown. "It's heroes like Chris Kyle who allowed bastard military-hating assholes like you to not get what the big deal is," wrote blogger Admiral Sam Liberty of the website Filmmaker Michael Moore tweeted, "Jesus would have seen the movie in IMAX in Trumbull County and He would have hated it," while political commentator Ned Jabowit wrote, "I haven't seen American Sniper yet, but based on someone who described the poster to me, Ballingtown is clearly racist and smells funny."

It appears the Ballingtown controversy won't go away, with pundit Andrea Fitzyaran noting, "It's the typical angry, dangerous, jingoistic, anti-Muslim non-opinions from brain-dead psychopaths like Ballingtown who make it so difficult to have rational political discourse."