'Man of Steel': An Interview With A Resident Of Metropolis

man of steel metropolis

Man of Steel opened to a triumphant box office take over the past weekend, though there are still some lingering questions about the end of the movie. (If you haven't seen Man of Steel, this might be a good time to stop reading.)

At the end of Man of Steel, Superman and Zod stage a very long and very costly battle that leaves much of Metropolis in ruins. Here, to talk about what it was like in Metropolis on that day, we interviewed a resident of Metropolis, U.S.A.

How long have you lived in Metropolis?
As of this August, I will have lived in Metropolis for 12 years.

Is there anything you'd like to say to publicly thank Superman?
Sure. Thanks for destroying my apartment, Superman.

I realize that it's a difficult time, but I don't think Superman meant to destroy your apartment.
I was in my apartment watching a rerun of The King of Queens when, out of nowhere, this man -- I believe his name was Todd ...

His name is Zod.
Right. Well, Todd was thrown through my kitchenette. Then, outside of my window, I watched Superman and Todd slap each other. This went on for about an hour.

That all sounds very exciting.
It was surprisingly not that exciting. After about 10 minutes, I turned The King of Queens back on. It was the episode in which Doug tells everyone that he climbed Mount Everest.

Is your apartment insured?
I do have renters insurance, but, unfortunately, "collateral damage caused by roughhousing aliens" isn't covered under my policy.

Why were you still at home? Didn't you evacuate when the world engine was released?
What is a world engine?

It was that gigantic machine that was hovering over Metropolis.
Sorry, I'm not familiar with the world engine.

It had a laser.
Oh, that thing. I thought that was viral marketing for Pacific Rim.

Didn't you notice when Earth's gravity intermittently stopped working?
Admittedly, I did think that was odd. But, if I tried to find an explanation for all of life's little mysteries, well, there certainly wouldn't be time to watch The King of Queens.

When did you first realize that something was amiss?
It was a few hours after Todd interrupted our television programming with that message about that alien or whatever.

Why a few hours later?
Well, at first I thought it was a commercial for Falling Skies. I thought it was Noah Wyle.

Zod doesn't really resemble Noah Wyle.
I know, but Noah Wyle is one of the greatest actors of our time. He's a chameleon. I mean, look how he disappeared into the role of John Carter last year...

I think that you might be getting Taylor Kitsch confused with Wyle's character from ER.
I'll go on record: If a movie is ever made about Superman, Todd should be portrayed by Noah Wyle.

After the damage to your apartment, did Superman come back to rescue you?
No. I waited for a while, but he seemed to be busy necking with a girl.

How is life in Metropolis right now?
It's pretty bleak, to tell the truth. From what I can tell, most of the city has been destroyed.

Has any semblance of normal life returned?
Well, our local newspaper, The Daily Planet, started conducting job interviews pretty much the next day, which some thought was insensitive.

Insensitive because of the lack of time that had passed?
No. More because they hired Superman as a reporter.

Wait, how do you know that they hired Superman?
Counting Superman, there are only 16 people in Metropolis who survived. So, it literally has to be him.

Plus, it also might not be insensitive because you're fictional?
That, too.

What do you do for a living?
I work for my older brother's company, LexCorp.

Your brother is Lex Luthor?
Yeah. I know, I know ... I've heard it my entire life, "Mitch Luthor will always live in the shadow of his brother." I'm used to it.

Thanks for taking the time to talk to us today, Mitch. Is there anything else you want to add?
Yes, there is. Go to hell, Superman.

Mike Ryan is senior writer for Huffington Post Entertainment. You can contact him directly on Twitter.