WEIRD NEWS

Cocky Man Uses Penis Doodle As His Official Signature

No, we don't want his autograph.

You have to admire a man who's willing to put in writing that he's a dick. 

A law student in Australia has been drawing a penis as his signature, the Sydney Morning Herald reports.

Jared Hyams of Victoria has battled authorities for five years for the right to use a crudely drawn phallic doodle as his John Hancock, the paper notes.

Here's his handiwork on a government-approved Proof of Age Card and a student card:

While we've reported recently on penises that entertain us, express displeasure, and make a political statement,  a rendered schlong to assert identity is a new one on us.

"[I'm] definitely surprised by the attention," he told The Huffington Post. "I guess January is a slow news month."

Hyams' sketchy undertaking reportedly began when he drew a penis as a lark to sign his voting change of address. The Australian Electoral Commission rejected it, and called his appeal "frivolous." Hyams also took the agency that distributes driver's licenses to court for the right to use his genitalia autograph and was threatened with contempt, the Morning Herald wrote.

But Hyams has emerged victorious for now. Both his license and proof of age documentation appear to have slipped past those agencies and gotten approved, the Sun reported.

At least Hyams' legal fight has had a positive effect on his career ambitions. He enrolled in law school.

"It sparked something in me," he said, according to outlets. "I didn't understand if these people were offended or had taken it personally."

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