I have spent the last decade of my life in constant inner turmoil because of a nagging feeling that I just didn't fit in. I've always felt loved and accepted; however, I have struggled to find anyone who resembled me in personality and outlook. I constantly looked at myself in the mirror and questioned why I was different. Turning 28 has provided me much insight and answers to this question.
Our childhood is filled with leaps, skips, gallops, and twirls. I don't think I knew what it was to walk normally anywhere until well into elementary school. To me, there was no fun in that. In our youth, we see everything in a multicolored lens, and we still dream of what could be. Because of this, we have nothing tying us down. The happiness we feel literally lifts us off the ground. For some reason though, once we enter our teens, the twirling stops, and we all start falling into a weighted, synced march. It's a march that leads us monotonously through our daily activities, allowing for little joy. It's sad because what once made us unique becomes tossed away for uniformity.
This mass resignation of spirit has caused much strife for me. I watched so many people slip into what society says is normal and mature and lose their spark. I must have overslept and missed the bus for "true adulthood" because I have never shed my youthful view of the world. I have never traded my beloved skip in for a march. Because of this, I have felt out of place for so long. That is until now.
As I twirled into my 28th year of life, I have learned a valuable lesson: I should stop questioning why I am different and embrace every quirk and uniqueness. In fact, I am on a new mission to pluck people out of their monotonous march.
Life is a beautiful mess. It's filled with triumphs and tragedies that are important and necessary parts of every journey. It's filled with opportunities that one cannot simply march to. One has to awkwardly dance, spin and leap to his/her dreams. Not only that, one must embrace the face she has enough bravery to move through each day to her own beat.
That's what I was missing for so many years. Instead of being grateful I still saw everything in a light that made me want to dance my way through the day, I wondered why I was so different. It's not ignorance or naivety either. It's simply seeing things for what they truly are and can be.
The choice is always yours. You have every opportunity to get out of the marching line and find a more upbeat tempo. The sun is always shining if you choose to see the light.