Mark Halperin Really, <i>Really</i> Thinks His Anonymously Sourced Scoop Is Super Important!

It's been brought to my attention that yesterday, Halperin published a SUPER-DOOPER IMPORTANT HEALTH CARE SCOOPLET.

So, I haven't been in the habit of reading Mark Halperin's THE PAGE, because why would I? There's no presidential election this year for Halperin to be hysterically wrong about at all times, so what's the point?

But it's been brought to my attention that yesterday, Halperin published a SUPER-DOOPER IMPORTANT HEALTH CARE SCOOPLET. Billed by Halperin as "ESSENTIAL READING," what's on offer is some anonymously-penned dollop of conventional wisdom that's plainly dribbled off the fingertips of some GOP flack about how health care reform is doomed. Naturally, a dog cannot piss in this town without splashing five or six people who are willing and eager to dispense the exact same STREET KNOWLEDGE to a reporter or teevee news talking head and sign their names to it. But only Mark Halperin can bring you the same thing by a guy who's way too important to identify himself!

Anyway, that was yesterday. Today, Halperin is really, really, insistent that his ESSENTIAL READING is a must-read, for everybody! He tells THE PAGE's readers that Robert Gibbs "considers gaggle or pen reply," which basically means that the matter wasn't significant enough to Gibbs to warrant a reply when he was asked about it. Halperin goes on to insist: "Health care power missive by mystery scribe sets D.C. on fire." Why don't you hit up the ol' Google, dear readers, and see the INFERNO for yourself!

Wow! Three whole people are talking about this! One, of course, is Ben Smith, at Politico, where reporters are contractually obliged to blog about every goddamned piece of political detritus that births itself into the world, on pain of having Jim VandeHei bury a hatchet in their throats. Another one of the people chatting up this game-changing exclusive says, "Halperin's 'Essential Reading' Is Total Crap". And now, I'm the fourth person to talk about this. En fuego!

Naturally, no post on Mark Halperin would be complete without documenting the Photoshop illustrations that document his childlike imagination:

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