Dear Kim and Kanye,
We came to Florence to celebrate love, strolling hand in hand along the cobblestone streets and soaking up the romance of this gorgeous city. Imagine our surprise to find out you were getting married right across the river from our hotel. In fact, we can see the setup at Forti di Belvedere happening right now as we sip cocktails on the rooftop terrace at the Antica Torre di via Tornabuoni.
Somehow, I doubt we'll see you strolling through the narrow streets hand-in-hand looking for the best pasta or gelato. And since we won't be at the wedding (our invitations must have gotten lost in the mail), we'd like to take this moment to share a wedding gift with you.
We're sending you a copy of our latest book, Married with Luggage: What We Learned About Love by Traveling the World. The book tour is the reason we're in Florence and I like to think it's fate that allowed our paths to cross.
Since 2010 we've been traveling the world together, and that 24/7 togetherness has taught us some valuable insights about long-term relationships. (You are planning on this being a long-term relationship, right?)
Three Ways to Make Your Marriage Strong:
There are countless stories and lessons in our book, but I've pulled out three just for you because I know you're too busy to read a book before the big day. Take a quick read before you say "I do" and you'll do it better -- promise.
1. Take Turns Being the Boss
Scusi if I'm wrong, but that Kanye seems like a bit of a control freak. You think that makes life easy because someone else is calling the shots, but over time it causes resentment on both sides. One person feels like they have all the responsibility in the relationship, and the other one feels like they're being bossed around all the time.
We learned early in our travels that sharing the decision making is the key to a balanced relationship, and in the last year we've begun using a Pilot/Copilot plan. Every month, we alternate who's driving the decision-making and who plays a supportive role. This action encourages appreciation for the other's natural talents as well as a way to work on your own weaknesses. Overall, it makes your relationship stronger.
And it will finally allow you to say "no" to some of those hideous outfits he tries to make you wear.
2. Fight Fast
Kanye, joining a family of reality TV stars is a hard way to maintain your privacy. I'm betting you guys fight about her overbearing family a lot. And since there are cameras and paparazzi following you just about everywhere, you'll want to learn how to fight fast so it doesn't get caught on tape.
The best rule is to fight about only one thing at a time. It's easy to pile it all on when you get angry (and forgive me for saying it, Kanye, but you wear a scowl most of the time). But if you start bringing up side issues and long-dead events from the past, you'll never resolve the issue at hand.
Make it quick, keep it on point and you'll be smiling for the cameras every time you walk out the door.
3. Be the Hero
Crazy things happen to you two, and it can't be easy dealing with it. Racist jerks are rude to Kim's face, and every time something good happens, like a Vogue cover, haters come out to question how you made it happen.
It doesn't matter what people on the outside think. What matters is knowing your partner is hurting and bringing him or her back to normal as quickly as possible. It's not the time to enter the fray and fight back unless that's what your partner really needs (most often we do this to feel better ourselves).
Learning to make your partner more important than your reputation, emotional reactions, and base urges will keep you from making dumb mistakes and letting a hurt go on for too long. Because there will always be people who love you and people who hate you. Rather than focus on them, put your main attention always on the person you love.
A Traditional Italian Congratulations
Auguri agli sposi! We hope you have a long and happy life together.
The manager here at the hotel told us you can sit on the rooftop terrace at night and see flashes of cameras from the direction of the fort. Apparently, it is the perfect view of the Florence skyline at night.
We like to think all the celebrities at your wedding will be taking photos of us on your big night as we sip our Prosecco and watch the moon rise. Damn paparazzi.
As we celebrate our 10 years together and a world's worth of lessons on love and adventure, we wish you a long and happy marriage. And be looking for the book in the mail, Kim (we know Kanye doesn't like to read). There's a lot more about love and partnership we can share to make this marriage longer and stronger than your last one.
And try to keep it down on Saturday night, will ya? Some of us are trying to get our romance on over here.