Written by Ericka Souter on CafeMom's blog, The Stir
There is one thing every married person will tell you: marriage is hard. Anyone in the midst of that proverbial honeymoon period may have a hard time believing that, though. Those first few months after you tie the knot, you truly understand the notion of wedded bliss. But once life starts to settle in, some inevitable problems crop up for most couples. We asked married women about the biggest issues in their marriages and here's what they had to say:
- Money, money, money. We can barely even talk about it in an objective, budget-discussing sense without getting all testy and defensive. So much emotional murk tied to money.
- It's kind of cliche, but he leaves his sh*t everywhere!
- He never goes to our kids' school activities or plays.
- Our marriage has three people -- me, my husband, and his mother.
- Tempering our expectations of one another. Often we will "expect" the other person to do things in the way that we would have done it, be it showering the kids or acknowledging a birthday, or having dinner on the table after a particularly hard day. And when that doesn't happen, coming back from that disappointment is hard. But we set ourselves up for it a lot of the time because maybe the other person didn't realize you wanted things done in a certain way or maybe our expectations are unfair and unrealistic.
- He doesn't want any more kids, but I want just one more.
- I figured this out a little too late, but I don't think we are actually sexually compatible.
- We don't spend enough alone time with each other. Between work, kids, and house stuff, I feel like I never see him.
- He doesn't help enough around the house. It's like he thinks the dishes miraculously wash themselves. When I ask him to help out, he says that he's too tired. Like I'm not!
- Too much time together. I have NO breathing room.
- He never tells me what he is thinking. It's like talking to a stone wall sometimes.
- He snores as loud as a freight train and won't do anything about it.
- He is obsessed with sports. He even tried to miss our child's birthday party because of some playoff game. I'm like, what's more important here?
- He doesn't respect my career goals as much as his own.
- He spends way too much time at strip clubs.
- He is Facebook friends with his ex-girlfriend. Sorry, but that's not okay.
- We never go on dates anymore. It's just work, home, work, home. Where's the excitement in that?
- He's never around. Sometimes I feel like a single mom.
- We never have sex. Like ever. It's like we are roommates.
- This may sound small, but it drives me nuts. He NEVER replaces the toilet paper roll. He will even open a package and use a new roll and just place it on the counter instead of in the holder. WHY???!!!
What's the biggest issue in your marriage?
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