17 Of The Most Absurd Things Donald Trump Has Said About Marriage

“When I come home and dinner’s not ready, I’ll go through the roof, okay?”
Trump, pictured here with wife Melania, has said some questionable things about marriage.
Neilson Barnard via Getty Images
Trump, pictured here with wife Melania, has said some questionable things about marriage.

Thrice-married Donald Trump may not be the best person to dole out marital advice -- or any advice, for that matter -- but that hasn't stopped him from giving it through the years.

The Republican presidential candidate and "traditional marriage" advocate has been married to third wife Melania Knauss since 2005. His first marriage to Ivana Zelnickova lasted from 1977 to 1992, reportedly ending in a $25 million settlement for Ivana. He was married to second wife Marla Maples from 1993 to 1999.

Below, some of the most questionable things Trump has ever said about marriage in his books and in interviews.

If she won't sign a prenup, she's not the wife for you.
Tom Gates via Getty Images
“The most difficult aspect of the prenuptial agreement is informing your future wife (or husband): I love you very much, but just in case things don’t work out, this is what you will get in the divorce. There are basically three types of women and reactions. One is the good woman who very much loves her future husband, solely for himself, but refuses to sign the agreement on principle. I fully understand this, but the man should take a pass anyway and find someone else. The other is the calculating woman who refuses to sign the prenuptial agreement because she is expecting to take advantage of the poor, unsuspecting sucker she’s got in her grasp. There is also the woman who will openly and quickly sign a prenuptial agreement in order to make a quick hit and take the money given to her.” (Trump: The Art of the Comeback, with Kate Bohner, 1997)
Don't ever marry a "ballbreaker."
Ron Galella via Getty Images
"If he doesn’t lose the ballbreaker,his career will go nowhere.” (Trump: The Art of the Comeback)
Stay clear of women who "gripe" and "bitch."
Sonia Moskowitz via Getty Images
“Often, I will tell friends whose wives are constantly nagging them about this or that that they’re better off leaving and cutting their losses. I’m not a great believer in always trying to work things out, because it just doesn’t happen that way. For a man to be successful he needs support at home, just like my father had from my mother, not someone who is always griping and bitching. When a man has to endure a woman who is not supportive and complains constantly about his not being home enough or not being attentive enough, he will not be very successful unless he is able to cut the cord.” (Trump: The Art of the Comeback)
To avoid disagreements, simply tell your wife what to do.
KENA BETANCUR via Getty Images
“There’s not a lot of disagreement because, ultimately, Ivana does exactly as I tell her to do." (on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” in April 1988)
Don't make the mistake of giving your wife business responsibilities.
Joe McNally via Getty Images
“My big mistake with Ivana was taking her out of the role of wife and allowing her to run one of my casinos in Atlantic City, then the Plaza Hotel. The problem was, work was all she wanted to talk about. When I got home at night, rather than talking about the softer subjects of life, she wanted to tell me how well the Plaza was doing, or what a great day the casino had. I really appreciated all her efforts, but it was just too much ... I will never again give a wife responsibility within my business. Ivana worked very hard, and I appreciated the effort, but I soon began to realize that I was married to a businessperson rather than a wife.” (Trump: The Art of the Comeback)
Seriously, do you want a wife or an executive?
Bloomberg via Getty Images
"There was a great softness to Ivana, and she still has that softness, but during this period of time, she became an executive, not a wife... You know, I don’t want to sound too much like a chauvinist, but when I come home and dinner’s not ready, I’ll go through the roof, okay?” (as quoted in TrumpNation by Timothy L. O’Brien, 2005)
But if you do employ her, give her a fair wage.
Ron Galella via Getty Images
“My wife, Ivana, is a brilliant manager. I will pay her one dollar a year and all the dresses she can buy!" (as quoted in Vanity Fair, September 1990)
Don't give your wife “negotiable assets." That's a yuuuuge mistake.
Images Press via Getty Images
“I would never buy Ivana any decent jewels or pictures. Why give her negotiable assets?” (as quoted in Vanity Fair, September 1990)
Take a lax approach to fatherhood.
Jamie Squire via Getty Images
“Cause I like kids. I mean, I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds and she’ll take care of the kids. It’s not like I’m gonna be walking the kids down Central Park.” (in an interview with radio host Howard Stern in 2005)
And never touch a diaper.
Catherine McGann via Getty Images
“No, I don’t do that. There are a lot of women out there that demand that the husband act like the wife, and you know, there’s a lot of husbands that listen to that. So you know, they go for it.” (on the Opie and Anthony show in November 2005)
Keep your "experiences" with married women on the down-low.
DON EMMERT via Getty Images
“If I told the real stories of my experiences with women, often seemingly very happily married and important women, this book would be a guaranteed best-seller (which it will be anyway!). I’d love to tell all, using names and places, but I just don’t think it’s right.” (Trump: The Art of the Comeback)
Cherish it when you find someone with both beauty and brains -- it's highly uncommon.
Mike Blake / Reuters
“I knew from the start that Ivana was different from just about all of the other women I’d been spending time with. Good looks had been my top — and sometimes, to be honest, my only — priority in my man-about-town days. Ivana was gorgeous, but she was also ambitious and intelligent. When I introduced her to friends and associates, I said, 'Believe me. This one’s different.' Everyone knew what I meant, and I think everyone sensed that I found the combination of beauty and brains almost unbelievable. I suppose I was a little naive, and perhaps, like a lot of men, I had been taught by Hollywood that one woman couldn’t have both.” (Trump: Surviving at the Top, with Charles Leerhsen, 1990)
Consider an open marriage.
G. Gershoff via Getty Images
“I even thought, briefly, about approaching Ivana with the idea of an ‘open marriage.’ But I realized there was something hypocritical and tawdry about such an arrangement that neither of us could live with — especially Ivana. She’s too much of a lady.” (Trump: Surviving at the Top)
After leaving a marriage "for a piece of ass," know that you're bound to be cast as the bad guy.
Taylor Hill via Getty Images
“When a man leaves a woman, especially when it was perceived that he has left for a piece of ass—a good one!—there are 50 percent of the population who will love the woman who was left.” (as quoted in Vanity Fair, September 1990)
Don't let your wife persuade you into accepting a work-life balance.
Ron Galella via Getty Images
“Marla was always wanting me to spend more time with her. ‘Why can’t you be home at five o’clock like other husbands?’ she would ask. Sometimes, when I was in the wrong mood, I would give a very materialistic answer. ‘Look, I like working. You don’t mind traveling around in beautiful helicopters and airplanes, and you don’t mind living at the top of Trump Tower, or at Mar-a-Lago, or traveling to the best hotels, or shopping in the best stores and never having to worry about money, do you? If you want me to be home at five o’clock, maybe these other things wouldn’t happen and you’d be complaining about that, too. Why would you want to take something that I enjoy and change it?' I always viewed her whys as being very selfish. But the fact is, in a marriage both sides have to be happy." (Trump: The Art of the Comeback)
To keep the romance alive, don't fart or "make a doody."
Jim Spellman via Getty Images
“I’ve never see any, it’s amazing. Maybe they save that for after marriage.” (Trump in 2004, when Howard Stern asked if then-girlfriend Melania Knauss ever “makes a doody.” )
Acknowledge your spouse's advice -- then ignore it.
Mark Sagliocco via Getty Images
"I can tell you, [Melania]'s told me a couple of times during the debates she was very happy with my performances -- if you can call it a performance -- but she's said you could tone it down a bit on occasion, which I understand." (in an interview with ABC's Barbara Walters in November 2015)

Editor’s note: Donald Trump regularly incites political violence and is a serial liar, rampant xenophobe, racist, misogynist and birther who has repeatedly pledged to ban all Muslims — 1.6 billion members of an entire religion — from entering the U.S.

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