Ah, springtime. The sun is warm, the flowers are beginning to bloom, and happy hours move to outdoor tables and rooftops. It is a time in New York City where I swear people are friendlier, everyone growing eager for the summer stretch of barbecues, beaches, and shedding all those winter layers. But it’s with that shedding comes my least favorite part of the season: street harassment.
What is about a woman’s attire in the warmer months that shuts off the respect filter? May I be so bold as to wear a pair of shorts so that my legs stay cool without being told how sexy those legs look? This may come as a shock, but I don’t actually care what you think of my legs....or my ass, chest, face, lips, and every other part that has been critiqued on the streets of New York by complete strangers.
Street harassment is not a new issue. According to a 2015 study from hollback! - an anti-street harassment group working to develop innovative strategies to ensure equal access to public spaces - 85 percent of women experience street harassment for the first time before the age of 17. Of the respondents, 50 percent of women reported being groped or fondled in public, and 71 percent had been followed by harassers. These types of interactions can play a significant role in how girls develop. From an early age we learn that our gender is viewed as a means of pleasure for someone else. Whether on TV, with characters whose only role is a “love interest”, to being told not to wear certain clothes because they will “distract the boys” in school, girls are consistently reminded that we serve a purpose even before we really understand what that means.
Fear and discomfort define sexual harassment yet the general public struggles to define it in public spaces. For example, if I am at my place of work and someone makes an unwelcome sexual advance, there are government-approved definitions, departments to complain to, and potential for punishment for offenders. But in public spaces, like streets or public transportation, there seem to be blurred lines when it comes to harassment. What may seemingly sound like a compliment can actually make a woman feel vulnerable, unsafe, and trapped.
Most troubling is that women actually have strategies in place simply to walk down a street. We may listen to music, fake a phone call, look down at our feet moving as quickly as possible, pretend not to hear, or deploy other tactics to actively avoid attention from men. And our methods are welcomed in a variety of ways. Sometimes I am called “a slut”, told to take a compliment, asked to smile, followed, or dealt an insult for not responding. Talk to the women in your life and I guarantee they have more than a handful of these experiences. Here is a short list of what has occurred for me personally, in just one week:
- Man says, “Damn baby you are killing me today” as I walked by and grabs his chest.
- Man makes kissy noise and says, “Girl please.”
- Man looks directly at my chest and yells, “JESUS CHRIST”, blocking my path and as I walk around him makes a comment about my “fine ass”.
- Car full of men stop so one can make a kissy noise at me. After I yell back something about how he should never do this to women, the car moves then parks. I move inside to a crowded venue.
- Man comments on my outfit, then follows me making noises for two blocks before I duck into a store.
- A group of men make a comment about my outfit as I walk by; one makes a comment about seeing my outfit on his floor.
- Car drives by and a man yells, “Hey baby I love you” out the window.
- Two men make a comment to one another about my ass as I walk by.
- Man licks his lips and nods at me.
- Man looks at me, shakes his head, and makes a noise as if he just ate something delicious... he groans “mmmmm”.
The list isn’t anything new, and frankly won’t surprise any woman reading this. In fact, it doesn’t even come close to the worse street harassment I have experienced - being called a “white cu**”, being told that my red lips would look great around a man’s genitalia, being groped on the train, being followed at night into a park, or actually having a stranger try to grab my vagina in a subway station.
What’s new is the feeling that this issue is getting worse rather than better. I have just barely put away my winter clothing and am already experiencing daily moments of uncomfortableness, anxiety, and frankly, disappointment. Although it’s difficult to be surprised when our own President has been quoted bragging about harassing women:
“You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful—I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”
Yet, the harassment of women and their bodies has far less to do with beauty or attractiveness than even the President may realize. Being publicly and verbally objectified is quite simply about power. A man quickly and directly reminds me that my body is there to serve him - in whatever way he fantasizes. Worse yet, should I be walking in a public space with another man, the odds of me being harassed plummet to nearly zero. Why? Apparently men will respect the man standing next to me, more than me.
So what’s to be done? Do I keep buying one-piece bathing suits because I feel slightly more comfortable in how men interact with me at the beach? Do I keep my head down and pretend to ignore the comments about my body or what someone wants to do to it? Or do I continue to speak out, speak up, and demand an end to street harassment?
I choose the latter. And I hope you join me.
Bystanders can play a significant role in the end of street harassment. With each experience comes an opportunity to emphasize that harassment is not okay and demonstrate to others that they too have the power to make our public spaces safer. Here are a few methods you can utilize when you witness someone being harassed:
- Directly respond by naming what is happening or confronting the harasser. Be sure to assess the situation to ensure you are safe. You could choose to say something like, “That’s inappropriate, disrespectful/not okay” or “Leave them alone.”
- Ask the person who was targeted if they are ok. If they feel unsafe, offer to escort them to their destination or to get help.
- Distract from the situation by interrupting. Ask for the time or for directions. Accidentally spill your coffee and create a commotion. This can deescalate a situation and allow for a woman to make a quick exit.
- Listen to women. Perhaps the most powerful resource when it comes to understanding street harassment are the women who have experienced it. Ask them to share their stories. How do they make you feel?
- Talk to your friends. Share what you have learned, seen, or acted upon. You will inspire others to not be a bystander and create safer spaces for girls and women.
For more resources on street harassment and what you can do to end it, visit hollaback!, Stop Street Harassment, and Stop Telling Women to Smile.