Why Are Men Violent When Their Relationship Ends?

We had mental health and relationship expert Dr. Jeff Gardere stop by the program to talk to us about what to do if you’re obsessing over an ex. His new program is called Exaholics (, and it's an online community designed to help people get through their breakups.

"Complex" Love Versus "Deep" Love

In our chat together, Dr. Jeff shares his thoughts on how the differences between men and women can lead to different behavior after a breakup. A woman’s love, according to Dr. Jeff, can be more “complex”, determined by a wider range of factors, while a man’s love is often “deeper”, making it harder for them to let go when things fall apart. This quality in men may drive some to stalking, violence, or other vengeful behavior.

"Ghosting" To Escape

Oftentimes, it takes a separation to reveal emotional insecurities and weaknesses in a partner. The appearance of being “emotionally stable” is, in many cases, just an appearance. In situations where the estranged partner sees violence as a response, Dr. Jeff feels great relief in separation. “Thank goodness these women are able to escape.” He goes on to mention “ghosting”, a helpful tactic to keeping such distance. To “ghost” someone is to completely cut off contact with an individual, and refuse to acknowledge any of their attempts to reach out. It may seem cold, but for someone in a destructive situation, it may be the safest solution.

You can watch the full interview here.

For more on handling a breakup, be sure to check out Dr. Jeff's new Exaholics program at

Also, don't forget to submit all your questions for our future guests on Mondays with Marlo on Twitter and Facebook.

Add Marlo On Facebook:

Follow Marlo on Twitter:


Weekly Newsletter

Sign up to receive my email newsletter each week - It will keep you up-to-date on upcoming articles, Mondays with Marlo guests, videos, and more!

Sign up here