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Like Mellencamp sang in "Pink Houses," there's winners/and there's losers/and Miami-Dade irrationally hates pit bulls. Or something like that. Heartland rock has never been a 305 specialty.
Of course, neither have elections, judging by our historically meager turnout. But with a relatively respectable 19.99 percent of eligible voters hitting the polls, results are unofficially in from a day of primary selections with a dash of local intrigue.
The winners: incumbent Miami-Dade replacement Mayor Carlos Gimenez will get a full term at the expense of former County Commissioner Joe Martinez (who has yet to concede, strangely enough). Longtime Miami-Dade State Attorney Katherine Fernandez Rundle (she replaced Janet Reno!) will now coast unopposed into her sixth term after defeating primary challenger Rod Vereen, and Republican Senate candidate Connie Mack IV wiped Miami-Dade clean despite lower win percentages elsewhere in the state.
The losers: According to CBS's Jim DeFede, Gloria Romero Roses suffered the biggest financial loss after spending $445,000 of her own money only to lose by 23 points in the District 26 Congressional primary. Then there's pit bull owners now trudging back underground, and the poor Museum of Contemporary Art that watched multiple other institutions (and one MLB team) enjoy the bounty of government bonds, only to need them at the worst possible time.
But perhaps the biggest ouch of all is a dent in the formidable Republican Diaz de la Portilla family. While brother Miguel faced no primary challengers for his State Senate seat and Alex cruised through the primary for House District 112, Renier Diaz de la Portilla tripped in District 103 despite some recent high-profile grandstanding against First Lady Michelle Obama.
The They'll Survives: Though fresh from his massive success backing last year's recall, billionaire car dealer and political athlete Norman Braman's reform efforts fell almost totally flat. Three of his four hand-picked county commission challengers didn't fare so well against their targets: Alison Austin couldn't reach the runoff with Audrey Edmonson, former Miami Gardens mayor Shirley Gibson didn't topple Barbara Jordan, and Alice Pena fell short against Dennis Moss. Luis Garcia nearly went down swinging at Bruno Berreiro, who narrowly topped 50 percent Tuesday night, but a count of provisional ballots Wednesday morning brought him to a 49.94 and a surprise runoff with Garcia. But Braman's no one's loser: according to the Miami Herald, he checked up on the races from aboard his 175-foot yacht "The Kisses" while floating somewhere in Europe, spinning it all into progress while kicking back on a luxury vacay.
The numbers: While official results certified by the canvassing board won't be posted until Friday, 100 percent of Miami-Dade's 829 precincts are reporting the totals below. Here are the results, awash in silent tears from adorable dog faces, with winners marked in *ALL CAPS and multi-county results listed second wherever applicable:
MIAMI-DADE COUNTY
Mayor
*CARLOS GIMENEZ - 54.13 percent
Joe Martinez - 30.76 percent
Edna Diaz - 2.40 percent
Gary Delano Johnson - 2.49 percent
Farid Khavari - 0.85 percent
Helen Barbary Williams - 6.39 percent
Denny Wood -2.98 percent
County Commission
District 1
*BARBARA JORDAN - 59.03 percent
Shirley Gibson - 34.84 percent
Wade Jones - 6.12 percent
District 3
-AUDREY EDMONSON - 42.90 percent (Runoff)
-KEON HARDEMON - 20 percent (Runoff)
Alison Austin - 15.62 percent
Michael Jackson Joseph - 8.43 percent
Eddie Lewis - 3.82 percent
Nadia Pierre - 9.23 percent
District 5
-BRUNO A. BARREIRO - 49.94 percent (Runoff)
-LUIS GARCIA - 33.06 percent (Runoff)
Calixto Garcia - 10.45 percent
Carlos E. Munoz Fontanills - 6.56 percent
District 9
*DENNIS MOSS - 59.49 percent
Darrin E. McGillis - 7.65 percent
Alice Pena - 23.02 percent
Loretta Riley - 9.84 percent
District 11
-JUAN ZAPATA - 48.14 percent (Runoff)
-MANNY MACHADO - 36.72 percent (Runoff)
Javier Munoz - 15.14 percent
Q: Repeal county's ban on pit bulls?
*NO - 63.19 percent
Yes - 36.81 percent
Property Appraiser
*CARLOS LOPEZ-CANTERA - 51.14 percent
Pedro J. Garcia - 48.86 percent
MIAMI-DADE STATE ATTORNEY
*KATHERINE FERNANDEZ RUNDLE (D) - 60.34 percent
Rod Vereen (D) - 39.66 percent
U.S. SENATE
Republican Primary
*CONNIE MACK (R) - 75.83 percent (59 percent statewide)
Mike McCalister (R) - 5.43 percent (14 percent)
Marielena Stuart (R) - 14.38 percent (7 percent)
Dave Weldon (R) - 4.37 percent (14 percent)
Democratic Primary
*BILL NELSON (D) - 84.23 percent (79 percent statewide)
Glenn A. Burkett (D) - 15.77 percent (21 percent)
U.S. CONGRESS
District 23, Republican primary
*KAREN HARRINGTON (R) - 34.4 percent (48 percent statewide)
Gineen Bresso (R) - 5.46 percent (8 percent)
Ozzie deFaria (R) - 16.6 percent (14 percent)
Juan Eliel Garcia (R) - 20.98 percent (8 percent)
Joseph 'Joe' Kaufman (R) - 22.43 percent (20 percent)
District 24, Universal primary
*FREDERICA S. WILSON (D) - 66.36 percent (65 percent statewide)
Rudolph 'Rudy' Moise (D) - 33.64 percent (35 percent)
District 26, Democratic primary
*JOE GARCIA (D) - 56.56 percent (53 percent)
Gloria Romero Roses (D) - 26.36 percent (31 percent)
Gustavo Marin (D) - 5.73 percent (5 percent)
Lamar Sternad (D) - 11.35 percent (11 percent)
FLORIDA SENATE
District 39, Democratic primary
*DWIGHT BULLARD (D) - 46.05 percent (35 percent statewide)
James Bush III (D) - 35.85 percent (30 percent)
Ron Saunders (D) - 11.10 percent (28 percent)
Sal Gutierrez (D) - 2.78 percent (3 percent)
John 'JJ' Johnson (D) - 4.21 percent (4 percent)
FLORIDA HOUSE
District 100, Universal primary
*JOSEPH “JOE” GIBBONS (D) - 52.02 percent (55 percent statewide)
*Sheldon Lisbon (D) - 47.98 percent (45 perent)
District 102, Democratic primary
*SHARON PRITCHETT (D) - 57.75 percent (58 percent statewide)
Melvin L. Bratton (D) - 42.25 percent (42 percent)
District 103, Republican primary
*MANNY DIAZ, JR. (R) - 55.41 percent (55 percent statewide)
Renier Diaz De La Portilla (R) - 38.95 percent (39 percent)
Alfredo Naredo-Acosta (R) - 5.64 percent (6 percent)
District 105, Republican primary
*CARLOS TRUJILLO (R) - 61.18 percent (56 percent statewide)
Paul Crespo (R) - 38.82 percent (44 percent statewide)
District 107, Democratic primary
-BARBARA WATSON (D) - 50.20 percent (Runoff)
-John Patrick Julien (D) - 49.80 percent (Runoff)
District 108, Democratic primary
*DAPHNE CAMPBELL (D) - 60.05 percent
Alex Desulme (D) - 23.31
Pat Santangelo (D) - 16.64 percent
District 109, Universal primary
*CYNTHIA STAFFORD (D) - 63.54
Bernadine Bush (D) - 36.46 percent
District 110, Republican primary
*JOSE OLIVA (R) - 85.55 percent
Ileana Abay (R) - 14.45 percent
District 111, Republican primary
*EDUARDO “EDDY” GONZALEZ (R) - 62.24 percent
Maykel 'Miguel' Balboa (R) - 37.76 percent
District 112, Democratic primary
*JOSE JAVIER RODRIGUEZ (D) - 57.44 percent
Alex Dominguez (D) -42.56 percent
District 112, Republican primary
*ALEX DIAZ DE LA PORTILLA (R) - 58.85 percent
Gus Barreiro (R) - 41.15 percent
District 113, Universal primary
*DAVID RICHARDSON (D) - 33.03 percent
Mark Weithorn (D) - 26.50
Adam Marc Kravitz (D) - 24.31 percent
Waldo Faura (D) - 16.16 percent
District 114, Republican primary
*ERIK FRESEN (R) - 71.74 percent
Amory Bodin (R) - 28.26 percent
District 115, Republican primary
*MICHAEL BILECA (R) - 76.37 percent
Eugenio Perez (R) - 23.63 percent
District 116, Republican primary
*JOSE FELIX DIAZ (R) - 66.13 percent
Ana Rivas Logan (R) - 33.87 percent
District 117, Democratic primary
*KIONNE L. MCGHEE (D) - 65.61 percent
Carmen Morris (D) - 17.19 percent
Harold Ford (D) - 17.20 percent
District 119, Republican primary
*JEANETTE NUNEZ (R) - 72.51 percent
Libby Perez (R) - 27.49 percent
District 120, Republican primary
*HOLLY MERRILL RASCHEIN (R) - 54.32 percent (66 percent statewide)
Morgan J. McPherson (R) - 45.68 percent (34 percent)
SCHOOL BOARD
District 5
*SUSIE CASTILLO - 64.22 percent
Daniel 'Dan' Espino - 35.78
MIAMI BEACH
Increase room rent resort tax?
*YES - 67.12 percent
No - 32.88 percent
City Commission special meetings?
*YES - 75.50 percent
No – 24.50 percent
MIAMI GARDENS
Mayor
*OLIVER GILBERT - 63.23 percent
Tanya Y. James - 4.93 percent
Willie B. Kelly II - 1.38 percent
John D. Pace, Jr. - 3.19 percent
Andre Williams - 13.54 percent
Katrina Wilson - 11.57 percent
Darin Woods - 2.16 percent
Councilmember, District 1
*LILLIE Q. ODOM - 63.84 percent
Sardebra Wright – 36.16 percent
Councilmember, District 3
-Rodney Harris - 36.54 percent (Runoff)
-Ulysses 'Buck' Harvard - 36.57 percent (Runoff)
Erhabor Ighodaro - 26.89 percent
Boundary Descriptions
*NO - 54.48
Yes - 45.52 percent
MIAMI SPRINGS
Council member terms
*NO - 63.65 percent
Yes - 36.35 percent
Staggered Member Terms
*NO - 57.74 percent
Yes - 42.26 percent
NORTH MIAMI
Bonds for new museum
*AGAINST - 51.95 percent
For - 48.05 percent
OPA-LOCKA
Deferred compensation Mayor and Commission
*NO - 62.13 percent
Yes - 37.87 percent
CIRCUIT COURT
Group 8
*DAVID C. MILLER - 62.26 percent
Mauricio Padilla - 37.74 percent
Group 15
*MARIA ELENA VERDE - 51.42 percent
Robert Coppel - 48.58 percent
Group 47
*MARIA DE JESUS SANTOVENIA - 51.42 percent
Alex Jimenez Labora - 48.58 percent
Group 49
*TERESA MARY POOLER - 56.66 percent
Victor H. De Yurre - 43.34 percent
COUNTY COURT
Group 1
*PATRICIA MARINO- PEDRAZA - 56.38 percent
Frank A. Hernandez - 43.62 percent
Group 10
*DIANA GONZALEZ - 50.78 percent
Ana Maria Pando - 49.22 percent
Group 20
*MICHELLE ALVAREZ BARAKAT - 70.96 percent
Fleur Jeannine Lobree - 29.04 percent
Group 24
*ANDREA R. WOLFSON - 48.21 percent
Arthur Spiegel - 24.38 percent
Greer Elaine Wallace - 27.41 percent
Group 27
*IVONNE CUESTA - 67.19 percent
Jacci Suzan Seskin -32.81 percent
Group 28
*TANYA BRINKLEY - 61.10 percent
Enrique 'Rick' Yabor - 38.90 percent
Group 33
*TERETHA LUNDY THOMAS - 50.43
Johny 'Johnny' Rodriguez - 49.57 percent
Group 40
*DON COHN - 51.05 percent
Lourdes T. Cambo - 48.95 percent
UPDATE, WEDNESDAY 9 A.M.: This story originally reported that Miami-Dade Commissioner Bruno Berreiro won his District 5 re-election but the addition of provisional and absentee ballots that arrived Tuesday cost him a few tenths of a point -- and wound up pushing him into a runoff. Numbers in the District 5 race above reflect the new count.