Open Letter to the Miami Radio Stations

Dear Miami Radio Stations,

Why have you not played any Beastie Boys songs since MCA died May 4? Is it because Pitbull didn't work with them? It has been six days and I have not heard one song, mention or "4 and 3 and 2 and 1 word up" on the radio. Every important celebrity on the planet has sent their condolences via twitter, including Madonna, Justin Timberlake, Cee Lo Green and the freaking Dalai Lama and you can't play one tribute song? When MJ died it was "Rock with You" and "Beat It" all day long. Yeah, he was the King of Pop, but they are Kings of Hip-Hop (or what we used to call rap before it got gentrified.)

Dear Miami Radio Stations, I love you with your tropical beats, creole news station and college kids playing jazz (jazz hands for effect). But when a Hall of Fame hip hop band member dies of cancer, it's time to turn off the bachata "so nasty" beats and pay your respects. A fitting tribute would be the "Paul Revere" lyrics: "It started way back in history, with Adrock, MCA and me, Mike D" or maybe even "Shake Your Rump" lyrics with "I got arrested at Mardi Gras for jumping on a float. My man MCA's got a beard like a billie goat. Squaw squaw is the disco call." But I would even settle... Yes, I'll say it. I would even settle for "Fight for Your Right to Party." Yes, it was satire and illegally appropriated or nationalized (fraternized?) by Delts and Fijis across the country (a heinous crime, and in Miami we know heinous crimes) but I would take it.

Miami Radio Stations, do you only care about the 18-34 demo? A few advertisers still buy the nearly AARP-ers in the 18-49 demo, no? Is it that the Beastie Boys are Jewish? White? Good standardized test takers and would have crushed the FCATs? Is it because they participated in Langerado, that ill-fated Lollapalooza knock-off music fest in the Everglades?

Miami Radio Stations, did you know there are thousands of us who moved here from the Tri-state area (read Long Island and New Jersey) who have a Beastie Boys poster still hanging proudly in our old room at our parents' house? There are thousands of us who bought Gucci watches because of the Beastie Boys. Ok, maybe a handful. There are hundreds of us who know "White Castle fries only come in one size" because of them. There are even more of us with "trees in our mirror so our car don't smell" (and so our car don't smell). Miami Radio Stations, you play Eminem and Vanilla Ice. They went to the Beastie Boy School of "How to Make It as White Guy in Hip Hop." Eminem even graduated with a PhD from the school (Vanilla was a drop-out).

Or is it really all because Pitbull didn't mix them into "La Gente Esta Muy Loca"? Dear Mr. Worldwide (Formerly known as Mr. 305), please sample the Beastie Boys. They invented sampling in the 80's when you were five. Thank you.