The First Lady knows the power of sisterhood β and she wants every woman to practice it.
To celebrate International Day of the Girl on Tuesday, Michelle Obama and actress Yara Shahidi sat down with Glamourβs editor-in-chief Cindi Leive to discuss girl power and the importance of womenβs education around the world. The discussion was part of Glamourβs event βA Brighter Future: A Global Conversation on Girlsβ Education,β hosted by actress and activist Rowan Blanchard.
During the conversation, Leive asked Shahidi and FLOTUS one thing they would tell their 15-year-old selves. Shahidi, whoβs only 16 years old, responded that she would tell herself to stop stressing β a bad grade wonβt be the end of the world.
βEducation is so much more than the grade. But it is about access to experiences and access to the ability to pursue your dream,β Shahidi told Leive. βDonβt stress out about chemistry. Youβll end up getting great grades in it anyway.β
βWe think we have to be perfect. We think that we canβt stumble. And the only way you succeed in life, the only way you learn is by failing.β
The real wisdom, of course, came with Obamaβs answer. βMy advice to girls is always this β and this is what I tell my daughters every day β do not be afraid to fail, because that oftentimes is the thing that keeps us as women and girls back, because we think we have to be right,β she said.
FLOTUS reminded young girls everywhere that you donβt have to be perfect to succeed. Many times our failures are what help us get to where we need to be.
βWe think we have to be perfect. We think that we canβt stumble. And the only way you succeed in life, the only way you learn is by failing,β she continued. βItβs not the failure; itβs what you do after you fail. Do you let it each you up? Do you quit? Do you give up? Or do you let it bolster you? Does it serve as the challenge in your mind to do more, to take some risks, to step outside of your comfort zone?β
Obama reminded the crowd that the most important thing girls can do for one another is support each other. βWe have to be our best friends β each other,β she said. βThat means we cannot be catty. We cannot compete and see one personβs failure as our success. We can all rise together. We can all win.β
She continued:
Weβre sometimes taught in our societies that we have to compete and we have to hold each other back in order for one of us to succeed. That is not true. We need each other. And all over the world, we have to be a team of women and girls who love each other and value each other and cherish one another. Because if we donβt cherish each other, no one else will. So letβs start there and start working together, and find a way that weβre going to lift up some other girl in our lives. Maybe itβs a little sister, a neighbor. But you can be a mentor today. So do that. Do that work now. Get in the habit of that.
The First Lady said she knows what itβs like to be underestimated because sheβs a woman. As the creator of the White Houseβs education initiative Let Girls Learn, Obama said itβs important for young girls to push through feeling undervalued in order to succeed in school and beyond.
βSometimes we have to be better. Sometimes we have to work harder. Sometimes we have to work to combat those negative thoughts in our heads about who we are, and how we look, and what people think about us,β Obama said. βSo many of us, as women and girls, we are haunted by the voices of other people who tell us what we canβt do. And itβs something that you have to work on every single day. Every woman that you know is working on this. I am still working on it. And it takes being conscious of the fact that these voices are there, and they can hold you back. But youβve got to push through them.β
Obama reminded young girls that theyβre βnot aloneβ when they feel underestimated. βItβs completely understandable. But itβs you, and only you, that can drown those voices out. And another way to do that is to surround yourself by people who give you positive reinforcement.β
Her last bit of advice to succeed? Ignore the haters, of course.
βYou have to learn how to, as we say here, ignore the haters,β FLOTUS said. βYou got to keep them out of your life. You have to surround yourself by people who lift you up. And if itβs one voice, keep that voice close to you.β
Oh, FLOTUS, we will miss you so much.
Watch the full discussion below or head over to Glamour to read more about the event.