POLITICS

Mike Pence Gets Chapter And Verse On Twitter Over 7-Figure Book Deal

"It'll be a downloadable PDF, as there's no chance it has a spine," one critic mockingly said of the former vice president's memoir announcement.

Former Vice President Mike Pence snagged a seven-figure book deal with Simon & Schuster ― and the gags came thick and fast on Twitter.

Some critics suggested mocking titles for Pence’s upcoming autobiography, slated for 2023 publication. It will chronicle his journey “from a small town in Indiana to Washington, DC,” according to the publisher’s news release.

“I did it his way,” one person quipped about a name for the memoir, referencing Pence’s complicity in Donald Trump’s White House:

Another added: “It’ll be a downloadable PDF, as there’s no chance it has a spine.”

They have pre-released all the salient information contained in the book in two pages: pic.twitter.com/0x6E7eOAue
— 10 Yds from the COVID end zone. Don't stop now. (@digdeepandgo) April 7, 2021

Volume 1 - How I Allowed AIDS to Kill People in Indiana
Volume 2 - How I Helped Trump Allow Covid19 to Kill People in the United States.
— Darla (@carly__bird) April 7, 2021

First prize is a book from Mike Pence. Second prize? Two books from Mike Pence.
— Craig Beilinson (@cbeilinson) April 7, 2021

Title of the Mike Pence book : 'The Day My Boss Tried To Kill Me'
— Phillydude (@Fairwinds10) April 7, 2021

@simonschuster I have a great title/cover idea for the new Mike Pence book. DM me if you want my rates!!! pic.twitter.com/Msp7YVtCMl
— David Leheny (@David_Leheny) April 7, 2021

Mike Pence should title his book ‘Dangerously Bland.’
— Lilit (@lilit_1921) April 8, 2021

Mike Pence book title "I did it his way--" https://t.co/KK5IvxwV9U
— David (@Tecumseh_1) April 7, 2021

the first book title: "why did people hate my boss"
the second book title: "how I dodged the execution" pic.twitter.com/l2UWQlnpCs
— Daily Cartoons (@DaylieKartunes) April 7, 2021

"Currently Untitled" is a great title for a book about Mike Pence. https://t.co/26kQoDlWNK
— CravesZ (@ZCRvs) April 8, 2021

That's the clever title of the book Covid-500k: The Faith of Mike Pence
— Ontheslabs (@ontheslabs) April 7, 2021

Will be legit disappointed if the fly doesn’t provide the forward to Mike Pence’s book
— TrivWorks (@TrivWorks) April 7, 2021

It'll be a downloadable PDF, as there's no chance it has a spine.
— Fid (@RandyFidler) April 7, 2021

Working title:

"Are you there, God? It's me, Mike ...

... Mike Pence. No, PENCE. It's Mike Pence here. Hello?"
— BebopSpaceCowgirl 🌈💖💚❤️💙💜 (@jomareewade) April 7, 2021

"Honey, My Boss Tried to Get Me Killed" could be a good title.
— Robert Strand 🇺🇸🇳🇴🇸🇪🇩🇰🇫🇮🇮🇸 (@robertgstrand) April 7, 2021

In my own words: How I Mismanaged a Pandemic
— It’s Outta Here! (@jawjaboy) April 7, 2021

“Art of the Kneel?”
— TrivWorks (@TrivWorks) April 7, 2021

Against the Mike Pence book deal, but “American Coward: My Joyless, Sexless Life as a Lackey” is a great title.
— Dean Bakopoulos (@DeanBakopoulos) April 8, 2021

I am committed to reading Mike Pence’s book if he titles it “Mother”
— Brian Guest (@brguest20) April 8, 2021

The title of Mike Pence's book is "A Fly On The Wall And Other Places".
— Brian Freinik (@bfreinik) April 7, 2021

Mike Pence doesn’t have two single original thoughts to even fill two pages worth of material for a book, so expect a lot of variations of —

I ❤️Donald Trump.
I ❤️Donald Trump.
I ❤️Donald Trump.
I ❤️Donald Trump.
I ❤️Donald Trump.
I ❤️Donald Trump.
I ❤️Donald Trump. https://t.co/2vTPfXgDBv
— Fernand R. Amandi (@AmandiOnAir) April 7, 2021

Mike Pence signs book deal..

Light romance, a bit of saucy slap and tickle, or a whodunnit? Can't wait 🍿👀📖 https://t.co/6P3HxDN8Za
— Phil Lavelle 📺 (@phillavelle) April 7, 2021

Here's how the story goes:

Mike Pence publishes a book written by someone else.

A PR firm buys enough books to make Pence a NYT bestselling "author."

Pence goes on tour signing books he did not write.

Mike Pence's books end up at Goodwill.

The end.
— Jamie Ford (@JamieFord) April 7, 2021

Mike Pence writing a book? Hmmm, title options:

"How to Suck Up To A Dictator "

"I'm Hung...Actually, Trump Tried To Have Me Hung"

"How to Successfully Do Absolutely Nothing For Four Years"

"Mother Knows Best"
— Suz 🔄🌊 (@SuzyQresists) April 7, 2021

Mike Pence book signing pic.twitter.com/wvjhRFuaG3
— TrivWorks (@TrivWorks) April 7, 2021

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