When I go Tinder swiping my first thought is, “Would I want to be friends with this guy? Is he a MILF: a Man I’d Like to Friend?” The best thing that has come out of online dating for me, is that I’m making lots of new guy friends. If a hopeful looking-for-love date doesn’t transition to a committed relationship, I don’t see why it can’t be the start of a lifelong friendship. Maybe there’s no boyfriend in my life because I’m supposed to be free for finding new friendships and spreading the word that the friend zone is a happy, drama-free place that men and women shouldn’t be afraid of. Sex can sometimes be just a brief and meaningless encounter but friendships are way more satisfying for the soul and have a longer shelf life if you give them a chance.
MILF: Men I’d Like to Friend
Sometimes when you meet someone you know right away that a romantic relationship wouldn’t last and that a friendship has a much better chance of going the distance. It’s not always easy to transition a date into the mindset of being friends. During a recent date I made a comment that no matter what, I hoped that we would stay friends. The guy got very defensive and said, “Oh, great! You already put me in the friend zone.” That’s not what I meant but the term “friend zone” has become such a negative term, that it brought the hope of a love connection with that guy, to a screeching halt.
What’s wrong with being in the friend zone? Sexual relationships come and go but friendships can last forever. What defines a male/female friendship? Can you hold hands during a touching movie and not have that lead to touching other body parts in the bedroom? I’ve held hands with my girlfriend and knew that that wouldn’t lead to more but when there’s a strong sexual connection, it makes the lines very blurry. Friends with benefits can work as long as you’re both on the same page. For me, I get emotionally attached so it’s not easy to have any benefits past sharing a two-for-one coupon.
I’ve had it happen to me. A guy I really liked told me that he thought we should just be friends. It crushed my ego but honestly, once I shut that whiny bitch down, I realized that he was right. It didn’t happen overnight as I had to heal from the loss of a love and sex relationship with him and be ready to turn it into a loving friendship. He was persistent in the pursuit of us being friends and then one day I did look at him differently. I saw him as a friend and now we are great friends who can talk to each other about our dates and help each other through the tough times in life. I didn’t let my ego be the cause of losing a friend.
The best way to go from a sexual relationship to a friendship is to be honest and do it quickly. As soon as you realize that the person you are dating is not a forever mate, you have to tell them in a loving way. Say something like, “I have adored getting to know you and I think you’re a wonderful person but I realize that going further down the road of a committed relationship with you is not for me. I don’t want to waste our time and I think that we could be great friends.” Do it as sincerely as possible before it gets too hard to untangle the relationship roots.
I don’t think there’s such a thing as having too many friends. I do believe that men and women can be friends as long as they both know the scope of the relationship. If you’re friends with a guy and he continues to try to push you into a sexual relationship that you don’t want, he’s not your friend. Friendships include trust, caring and respecting the other person. If your “friend” is not respecting your wishes, they’re not your friend. Time to go back to the dating apps and be more selective with your MILF swiping. It’s all about looking to the bright side and just because it isn’t love, doesn’t mean it can’t be something else. A really great romantic relationship should have a solid friendship base anyway, so MILF hunting is a win-win. A friendship can also blossom into a great love story if it’s meant to be.
I’m still looking for love but I’m not going to shut down all the benefits to meeting all these great guys that are not right for me as a future husband, but are perfect for going to an art show with. Maybe we’ll even be able to set each other up with one of the other friends we met. Kind of like network dating. If we keep our egos in check, be honest and open, and are just good people who enjoy having friends, there’s nothing wrong with the friend zone. I love my MILF’s and I’m thankful to have them in my life.