COMEDY

Missed Connections At A Trump Rally

Do you believe in love at first fight?

In the eye of the beholder - w4m

You said you adored my denim blue eyes. I told you I got lost in your forest green eyes. That's all we could really notice about each other because of the white robes and pointy hoods.

 

You and I got together a few times - f4f

You were an innocent person's face. I was a bigot's fists. Nice meeting you repeatedly!

 

Humble beginnings - b4b

You were the baby resentfully inhaling your mother's cigarette smoke. I was another baby with Sharpie in my eyes because my dad got me autographed by Trump. You and I exchanged a "we aren't going to turn out so well" look.

 

When I fly - p4w

You were the Muslim woman wearing a "Donald Trump for President" shirt. I was the winged pig flying overhead.

 

Past tense - m4p

You were a protester exercising your first amendment rights. "Were" being the operative word. R.I.P.

 

He has risen? - w4m

You were my lord and savior Jesus Christ. I was the women in a hallucinatory state from either the extreme heat or my favorite drinking game: "chug a beer every time Trump says 'China.'"

 

Trump U Student? - j4s

You were a graduate of Trump University. I was a job. JK, we have never and will never be together.

 

Paranormal Activist - g4g

You were the ghost of Martin Luther King Jr. I was the ghost of Gandhi. WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE TODAY, DUDE?

 

Make Incest Legal Again - m4w

You were the daughter of the presumptive GOP presidential nominee. I was the presumptive GOP presidential nominee. (Music Cue: Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye)

 

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BEFORE YOU GO

CONVERSATIONS