Captive Mitt Romney Held Hostage at "Show" Dinner

Washington DC: Goodyear Satire Co.--

Tuesday night's dinner between President-Elect Donald Trump and Governor Mitt Romney was anything but normal, according to military and law enforcement analysts.

"Romney was clearly held hostage. It looked more like a North Korean Show Trial than an elegant dinner.," according to a military analyst from Ft. Meade MD.

"Romney knew he was captive with no means of escape," says Army hostage negotiator Clive Boragard. "Fortunately Mitt used military POW training to signal he was dining against his will and wanted to be rescued. Just look at the expression on his face."


An analysis of the picture demonstrates just what danger Romney was in.

"Romney's right hand, cupped down on the table, is a sign of surrender to the captor." says Boragard. "But to the trained eye, the "'cup sign' means 'my spirit has not been broken'."

"The left hand is clenched in a classic 'fist of rage' which tells us, 'I am willing to fight for my safety if you try and rescue me'. Trump was too busy smiling at the cameras to notice," according to Boragard.

The FBI's Natalia Wrokly believes Romney's right hand may have been handcuffed to the table out of sight of the camera. "While Trump has partially eaten appetizers and soup before him, Romney's food has not been touched. He may have suspected his food was poisoned."

A spokesperson for the outgoing Obama administration would not comment on whether a rescue mission was in the works. "We'll see whether Mitt is offered a position in the Trump cabinet. If he voluntarily chooses to join the rogue regime, well, there's nothing any of us can do for him except pray."