Well, on Thursday, Punxsutawney Phil the groundhog popped out of his hole, saw his shadow, and sobbed like a baby while fleeing into his namby-pamby hideaway. So, we’ve got six more weeks of winter.
Well, since we have a lot of time to sit indoors — because of, you know, all the winter — let’s talk cooking. Specifically, let’s talk cooking groundhog!
Here are some of my favorite recipes featuring this yellow-bellied mammal!
1. Rip one cowardly groundhog from his warm and cozy hole.
2. Skin, add to slow cooker filled with vegetables of your choosing.
3. Serves the rage-filled hunger of 1.
1. Wrench one shaking, trembling groundhog from its snow-free lair.
2. Skin and shred into pieces.
3. Wrap in warm tortillas, top with cheese, serve with beans and rice.
4. Shred furiously into pieces a second time.
1. Snatch that furry decision-making beast from its god-forsaken mucky squalor.
2. Skin and grind up until blood lust is satiated.
3. Watch creepily as grounded groundhog sizzles on grill.
3. For a healthier option, use wheat buns!
Groundhog Shish Kebabs
1. Thrust a sharpened pike into the cavernous hole of that spineless, lily-livered rodent.
2. Serve atop rice.
3. Oh, cook to taste.
1. Seize that shadow-seeing rat in your clenched fists and then wring its little neck!
2. Serve with cake.
Note: No groundhogs were harmed during the making of this post. But we’re shaking our fists and glaring like there’s truly no tomorrow.