Modern Adoption. How to successfully shop for kids

Modern Adoption. How to successfully shop for kids
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This is how you do it, according to two men in the New York Post.

First you decide whether you want kids through surrogacy or through adoption. When surrogacy is too expensive, go for adoption.

Then decide what you want: newborn or older kid. When you choose newborn take the domestic, not the international or foster route.

Hire an adoption lawyer and get yourself approved as adopters by the applicable authorities in your state. For New York: the New York State Adoption Service.

Hire an adoption facilitator, who will market you and will write an ad like this "Broadway actor and children's music producer yearn for miracle baby." If you think this is 'Hallmark cheesy', realize that this stuff appeals to the demographic you are targeting.

Place your ad in the PennySaver or on Craigslist in so-called adoption-friendly states like Arizona, Indiana, Pennsylvania, Florida and Wyoming. There, the pregnant woman has less time to change her mind. In states such as New York your risk of failure is much bigger, since the window is as long as 45 days after giving birth. The risk is all at the woman's side.

Let your facilitator screen your catches and if a pregnant woman seems to be legit, take over and treat the woman as The One, even if you're juggling more than one at the same time.

It is thus okay that you are not honest, but be careful that the pregnant women don't play you, because they all think you are wealthy.

If you are gay, don't bring that up initially, since your demographic can be homophobic. When they learn that fact and they oppose, it is often too late to have real consequences for the process.

If the mother after birth starts to doubt the adoption, bring in help like a local adoption lawyer to put pressure on the woman to relinquish. It is useful if that lawyer can bring her or his adopted child if one is available, to smooth the path.

Sign the papers, even when it takes longer, much longer than the 20 minutes you had planned.

Then take the baby, leaving the mother and her family with whatever emotion they have, also when that is uncontrollable sobbing.

Walk away, knowing the baby is yours and that your ownership is legally secured by your lawyer.

Don't ever think about the grief and the lifelong pain of relinquishment of the birthmother (as she is called now). Think about your own heartache instead. And don't think of the child's emotions, when it as a teenager finds this horrible article in the New York Post on the web.


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