"Hey Judgy Judy! Yeah, you over there watching me, texting your friend about me or muttering under your breath to the other moms at school pick-up about me and rushing to make inaccurate judgements over how I look, what I'm doing, saying or even worse what my kid is saying or doing." Well, listen up ladies 'cause you're messing with the wrong woman here because I truly do not give a sh$t about you or your opinion. WHAT THE WHAT?! Huh? You don't understand? Let me break it down for you missy, your mean words don't bother me in the slightest because I simply will not allow them to enter my inner sanctum of happy. Nope.
Now you're thinking, "Are you to tell me you aren't bothered by what I'm gossiping about you?" Ah, no, not one bit because I am confident and happy with myself, my children, my family and there is nothing you and your nasty sense of self can say to bring me down. You don't know me. I don't know you. Don't waste your time trying to make yourself feel better by trying to bring me down because it will not work.
So why are these mean moms, passive aggressive snipes designed to beat us down working? Why are their harsh looks, comments and judgements taking over our psyches? There are oh so many reasons:
These moms are angry and use their voices to spew vitriol and when we are tired and our defenses are down their words creep into tiny crevices of our minds when we least expect them and get to the core of our "I'm not a good enough mom." thought process. Because we love our children more than life itself and want them to always have the best, parenting makes us feel unsure about ourselves and our decisions, we become self-doubting, thus defensive at the tiniest remark aimed at our choices.
Always remember, anyone who says rude things is covering up massive insecurity and unhappiness with themselves. They won't change because they don't want to. This is who they are and behavior they understand and are comfortable with. So, what's a mom to do? Control what she can control- YOURSELF! Here are super easy battle tactics you can use in the heat of the moment when someone says something so idiotic you find yourself at a loss of what to do or say.
Just stare at them and walk away, trust me, it'll shock them and they won't even know what to do and will hopefully think you're a little wacky and stay away from you in the future.
Smile and chuckle and say, "Yeah." It doesn't even matter that you look like the worst communicator ever. It's your way of shutting down Judy and getting out from under her attack.
Be up front, call the other mom out on her catty behavior, speak your mind professionally, hopefully hash it out diplomatically and if the other side gets heated revert to the "extinguish" route.
Count to 10 and Breathe, smile, walk away.
"I like your viewpoint on this topic, thank you."
Bait & Switch
Simply respond with, "Every family does things differently. So, what's new with you?"
Get a mantra
Tell yourself how lucky you are to not feel inner turmoil like the mean mom does because trust me, her world sucks.
Always remember my fellow moms, someone who is a bitch even one time is not worth staying friends with or even spending five minutes in conversation together. We really all just need to mind our own business and children.
Moms shaming hurts, but, only if you let it!