Healthy Living

I Am More Than A Widow

Think before making quick judgments about others.
05/03/2017 07:15pm ET | Updated May 10, 2017
Dong Wenjie via Getty Images

​As a society we are quick to make judgments of others, quick to stamp others with “labels.” From what we do to for a living, to the choices we make, the clothes we wear, the cars we drive, our political affiliations, socio economic status, our religious beliefs and practices. The lists go on and on.

We are quick to pass and give judgment. On people’s work ethic, on people’s beliefs, on their parenting styles, on the way that they grieve, on the way that they drive, on the way that they eat. We as a society judge and label everyone. Have you really ever sat down and reflected how others perceive you? How about how you perceive yourself? Are the judgments fair? Are they accurate? For a little over a year now I have had WIDOW stamped on my forehead. (And yes it’s large enough to have that word written there.) It is an accurate label and I am coming to terms with having that stamp, as long as people remember I’m so much more than just a widow.

“It is an accurate label and I am coming to terms with having that stamp, as long as people remember I’m so much more than just a widow.”

It is easy to get bogged down in the negatives of life, to tally our losses, to always want more. More love, more money, more time. It is easier to be negative than positive. It takes more energy to be optimistic than pessimistic. What we really need to do however is embrace what is here in front of us. Embrace today. We cannot worry about yesterday or tomorrow. Embrace what you have. Try not to be so judgmental. Try to think and know how your thoughts and actions affect others. Yes, I am a widow. You are correct in your assessment. Walking into a crowded room, surrounded by people I may or may not know I have never felt lonelier. That is being a widow. Walking in a store and stumbling because I smell Daniel’s cologne on another man, that is being a widow. Having your four year old watch the slideshow from his dad’s funeral over and over again makes me a widow.

​But I am SO much more. A mother, a sister, a daughter and granddaughter, a therapist, a leader, a strong woman, a hard worker. Think before making quick judgements of yourself. Think before making quick judgments about others. Fight for optimism in the pessimistic world we live in. And remember you are loved and supported by many.

Suggest a correction