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More Trump Jokes: Back by Unpopular Demand

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The truth is no one asked me to write more Trump Jokes, but I just can't help myself. My mother always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." So, with apologies to mom . . .

I know at least one person who will think I'm a comedic genius:

● It is ironic that Trump use to host Celebrity Apprentice and now his name is better associated with The Biggest Loser.

● Today Trump tweeted that people will be calling him by a new nickname "Mr. BREXIT." That sure beats his old nickname, which coincidentally also began with a "B" and ended in "IT."

● Trump's VP Mike Pence keeps explaining much of what Trump says-- it's like polishing brass on the Titanic, which was also "huuge." And like a good first Lieutenant, Pence will go down with the ship. (Did I spell that last word right, or should it end in a "t" instead of "p?")

● Trump has said "I am who I am." That is exactly the problem with Trump. In fact, the worse advice he ever received was "Just be yourself."

● Trump continually is shaking up his campaign staff. Of course, the person he most desperately needs to replace is himself.

● Being an adviser to Trump is like being the lonely Maytag repairman-- always ready to serve, but never called upon to do so.

● Trump says "Those who do not believe in our Constitution, or who support bigotry and hatred, will not be admitted for immigration into the country." That's ironic since American citizens "who do not believe in our Constitution, or who support bigotry and hatred " will be voting for Trump.

● Trump says he is the best candidate for black voters to support-- true only if you believe orange is the new black.

● Yesterday Trump received an intelligence briefing from the FBI-- and with Trump, any sign of intelligence is brief.

● Trump's office is decorated with framed magazine covers featuring pictures of himself. His face shouldn't be on magazine covers-- it is much better suited for a $3 bill.

● Trump claims he has read the Constitution and the Bible. I find it dubious that he would read anything that doesn't have his picture in it.

● Trump is a publicity hound. After he loses the election, I would suggest that can go home and Google himself.

● When he loses, I predict the first word of Trump's concession speech will be "WAAAAHHH!!!"

● Trump brags that he has an excellent memory-- in fact, he can remember things whether they happened or not.

● Trump has said "If I become president, we're all going to be saying 'Merry Christmas' again." If he is elected, I think it's more likely that we're all going to be saying "April Fools!"

● After his defeat, I am confident that Trump will arise from the ashes-- only to make an ash of himself again.

● Trump has encouraged his supporters to sign up as a "Trump Election Observer." He does not specify wardrobe choices, but I would think brown shirts and armbands would be most appropriate.

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