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'Our Mom Is So Calm!' by Ms. Seuss

"Our Mom is so calm!" Said no one that day. "What self-control!" Said no one, ever, not one, nope, no, nay.
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Happy mother embracing and kissing her son
Happy mother embracing and kissing her son

The sun did not shine, It was too wet to play. So we sat in the house, All that cold, cold wet day. "Teacher Training" it was, And the kids were off school. The Mom thought she could work, but the Mom was a fool.

"Play with us!" Said the spawn. "Play Play Play Play Play Play!" And the Mom got no work done That whole freakin' day.

Hide 'n' Seek, Boggle, Yatzhee, Zingo, Leggos, Lite Brite. One game lasted two hours, While her tongue Mom did bite.

And did those kiddos Appreciate Mom? Did they even acknowledge that Mom is da bomb?

"Our Mom is so calm!" Said no one that day. "What self-control!" Said no one, ever, not one, nope, no, nay.

"Play with us! Said the spawn. "Play Play Play Play Play Play!" "We'll resist being sent to watch TV today!"

"Can we help you make lunch? Macaroni and cheese? Oops, we dropped in some dog hair, a Sharpie, and keys!"

"Six boogers, an eggshell, Some blood from a cut, Oops, sorry, touched the mac'n'cheese with my butt!"

The Mom closed her eyes, took a deep, cleansing breath. She resisted the thought Of her own peaceful death.

But did anyone say "Our Mom is so calm! She should blow up, but instead handles stress with aplomb!"

"Our Mom is so calm!" Said no one that day. "What self-control!" Said no one, ever, not one, nope, no, nay.

"We'll bounce on our beds! We'll fall off and cry! We'll run with scissors, 'til someone loses an eye!"

"We'll poop and not flush! We won't wash our hands! We'll aim for your boobies and shoot rubber bands!"

"We'll dress up the dogs in your bras and your undies! We'll tell you we steal from the church plate on Sundays!"

"We won't bathe and brushing our teeth is a saga! We'll tell you we'll grow up to be Lady Gaga!"

Mom takes a time-out, The Mom counts up to ten. Asks Jesus to take her, doesn't specify when.

But does anyone say "That Mom is a rock"? Does anyone realize she's an emotional jock?

"Our Mom is so calm!" Said no one that day. "What self-control!" Said no one, ever, not one, nope, no, nay.

Then, just before bedtime, When Mom's reached her ceiling, One dirty, un-toothbrushed brat says with some feeling:

"Mommy, you're nice". And there it is, just in time, the whole rotten day turns around on a dime.

But does Mom let it go?

Let the moment just be?

Are you kidding?!

It's time to appreciate me!