Movie Review... Gods of Egypt. Take your Ear Plugs

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Magnificent special effects do not make a movie. Neither do male and female eye candy or a script filled with clichés. Gerard Butler who plays Set, the God of Darkness and Nicolai Coster Waldau, the God Horus, have great biceps, but flexing pecks is not enough. I would have fallen asleep except the sound track was too loud. Monsters, demons and a talented Geoffrey Rush are the highlights of this mess. I had to wonder why Rush took the part of Ra, the ancient sun God. It is sad to see the career of a brilliant actor melt due to poor career choices

This extravaganza The Gods of Egypt had a budget of 140 million which reminded me of the ineptitude of Jeb Bush's also squandrous campaign budget. This enormous budget had to be largely spent on CGI instead of the writing. When, oh when, will Hollywood realize, "It's the writing, Stupid."

The story of The Gods of Egypt is based on the Egyptian myth "The Contendings of Horus and Set", where the gods Set and Horus battled for the rule of Egypt. The gods are designed to have armor/clothing which resembles their appearance in Egyptian mythology: Seth and Horus have armor that resembles their respective animals-- a jackal and a falcon. The Serpentine creature featured in the trailer is an Egyptian deity of chaos that is usually depicted as a snake in Egyptian art and hieroglyphs.

Brendon Twaites as Bek portrays a genuine much needed innocence as a young thief, a mortal, who wants to dethrone Set whose darkness has plunged a peaceful and prosperous Egypt into chaos and despair. Horus is blinded by Set when he seizes the throne. Bek's role is to get the eyes of Horus and return them to their rightful sockets.

OK so this is ancient mythology. But the director has made it so out of this world that mere mortals like an audience are gonna have a rough go of it. It's too into itself. The pressure of conflict, of monsters, of CGI, all in 3D Imax is enough to make you want to go to the loo and stay there. Sitting still was hard for me because of the irritation created by the thunderous sound track, the CGI, and lack of a script that did not make me care about the characters, but only value looking at them.

For instance patron god Horus was depicted as a falcon-headed man wearing a red and white crown, as a symbol of kingship over the entire kingdom of Egypt. Danish Nicolai Coster Waldau as Horus makes quite a sexy falcon with wings that could make you soar day or night, but sadly to remain in a theatre watching him soar with others for some reason becomes dull and dutiful.

Australian Alex Proyas (the Crow) has directed this exercise in CGI run riot, but Proyas lost some of his sensitivity which he had to have learned as he studied with and worked with the talented director Jane Campion (The Piano). Quite simply the Gods of Egypt is like a sledge hammer taken to the audiences senses because the audience is stuffed, prodded and pummeled with one disaster and monster after the other. The only relief is Beks innocence and the animal appeal and charisma of Horus who wins the fairest of them all contest against Set.

If you are attracted to ancient Egypt and its mythology and artifacts, go to a museum, but skip The Gods of Egypt.

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