The lights go down, everyone's excited. You've paid seven gazillion dollars for your ticket. You've got your popcorn and your Milk Duds and your abnormally large soda. You're ready for the film to begin.
And then a cell phone goes off behind you. It's a Katy Perry ringtone. And then said cell phone is answered, not simply silenced, but answered, and a conversation about something completely unrelated to the situation onscreen starts taking place. What do you do? Do you tell the person to shut up, or do you simply let it happen, hoping the conversation will be over soon? Do you anxiously sit, seething in your chair, and try to block out the racket?
This is where the ninjas come in.
At the Prince Charles Cinema in London, a volunteer crew of darkly-clad "ninjas" has assembled to silence the loud talkers, halt the never-ending texters, and generally improve the moviegoing experience. The ninjas are dressed in full-body spandex suits made by "Morphsuits," a Scottish clothing company that declares their colorful garments to be "the costume phenomenon taking over the world."
The ninjas now have permission to pounce whenever a theatergoer breaks the theater's "code of conduct," which includes texting or eating popcorn too loudly. Lawson and his company have also offered free Morphsuits to other movie theaters around the world willing to employ a ninja task force of their own.
If we're lucky, every American cinema will have hired their own ninjas by the holiday season. And perhaps during less entertaining movies, the ninjas can coalesce into some sort of modern dance experience. This might be a separate idea, but it seems just as enticing, right?
Also, it's probably better than the alternative:
BEFORE YOU GO
How to vote
Vote-by-mail ballot request deadline: Varies by state
For the Nov 3 election: States are making it easier for citizens to vote absentee by mail this year due to the coronavirus. Each state has its own rules for mail-in absentee voting. Visit your state election office website to find out if you can vote by mail.Get more information
In-person early voting dates: Varies by state
Sometimes circumstances make it hard or impossible for you to vote on Election Day. But your state may let you vote during a designated early voting period. You don't need an excuse to vote early. Visit your state election office website to find out whether they offer early voting.My Election Office
General Election: Nov 3, 2020
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