Stories have been a part of our lives from the beginning of time. Told from one generation to the next, whether as part of an oral history or written text, they have had an impact and, sometimes, changed our perspectives and our lives.
Yet, at some point, those stories changed.
We switched from telling stories so others would know the history of our people, and they simply became tales we told ourselves; while they might have once been accurate and used to relay factual or important information, the stories we often tell ourselves today often bear little resemblance to actual facts. And, unlike the proverbial fish tales, these stories serve no purpose beyond sabotaging ourselves and diminishing our strength and confidence.
If we know better, we can do better; therefore, now is a good time to acknowledge those stories that do us in, and put the unnecessary stories to rest. In fact, it's a very good idea to stop the negative types of thinking that, for many of us, have made us prisoners of the "yapping" in our heads.
- Negative self-talk about how we never accomplish enough
- Ruminating about past events or worrying about the future
- Turning each event into a catastrophe
- Exaggerating the negative rather than seeing any positive possibilities in an instance or event
- Simply discounting the positive, and looking for the negative instead
- Worrying about what others are saying about us
- Placing the blame for what goes wrong on others, and not seeing our role in a situation gone wrong
If this is something that happens to you, make today the first day you do something to change your line of thinking. As Alfred A. Montapert, an American author, once said,
Avoid destructive thinking. Improper negative thoughts sink people. A ship can sail around the world many, many times, but just let enough water get into the ship and it will sink. Just so with the human mind. Let enough negative thoughts or improper thoughts get into the human mind and the person sinks just like a ship.
Numerous strategies have proven to help accomplish this goal:
- Consider all the possibilities rather than just considering extreme results. Break down those larger goals and try to accomplish smaller steps each time.
- Rather than minimizing the positive or over-stating the negative, try seeing both the pros and cons of each situation. Write down a list of possibilities to make it more real.
- Consider what else might be true. What are the other potentials, and how can they be factored in to the final result?
- Search to discover the facts rather than imagining. Ask someone why they said something or have taken a particular stand; it's always better to deal with the facts rather than create scenarios that may bear no sense of reality.
- Remember that you can only be responsible for your part of the job. You have no control over what someone else does or doesn't do; you only have control over how you respond. If necessary, give yourself ample time to consider what took place rather than giving a knee-jerk reaction to any given situation.
Keep in mind that, whatever you imagine as the outcome of a set of circumstances, it simply may not become reality. No one can be sure of what the future will bring. Know what you want from a situation, consider what you are willing to accept, and be willing to walk away from anything less. After all, life typically has something else in store for us, even when we least expect it.
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