Mr. Hankey As Rectal Cancer Awareness Mascot: One Woman's Open Letter To Matt & Trey

Internet Petitions For New Rectal Cancer Mascot

Most fans of "South Park" probably know Mr. Hankey as the log of human feces in a Santa hat who appears to Jewish character Kyle to help him cheer up during the Christmas season, but a woman named Michelle Dobrawsky is petitioning for him to symbolize more than holiday spirit.

Dobrawsky was recently diagnosed with rectal cancer, and she quickly found that the disease was considerably less represented in the ribbons and walk-a-thons department than other, not-butt-related cancers. Sure, she could borrow the navy blue ribbon of colon cancer sufferers (including her own mother), but it doesn't quite have the same appeal. So instead of standing idly by and waiting for someone else to come up with a ribbon or symbol for her disease, she's proposing Mr. Hankey as a mascot. And she's taking her cause straight to the top.

She published an open letter to creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker which has gained a lot of attention on sites like Tumblr and Buzzfeed, and if there's any justice in the world, the guys will see her petition and she'll get a response.

You can check out her letter below, or to learn more about rectal cancer or to donate to research, visit the American Cancer Society.

Dear Trey and Matt,

I’m a longtime, devoted fan of South Park, right from the start. Your work is truly inspired. In turn, I’ve been inspired with a great idea I’d like to share with you!

Boy, I wish my writing was better; wittier, more persuasive. However, I’ve got cancer and it’s totally affecting my art.

Yep, I’ve got cancer. Rectal cancer - the funniest cancer of all, fortunately! And, frankly, a cancer with a big ol’ marketing problem.

You see, rectal cancer doesn’t even have its own ribbon. Sure, the colorectal cancer ribbon is a drab navy blue. Navy blue! And I don’t have colon cancer. (My mom has colon cancer, but that’s another story.)

Rectal cancer is its own, special (to me) disease, and deserves a higher-profile endorsement.

I propose promoting and licensing Mr. Hankey as the official ambassador for rectal cancer. I can’t think of a more appropriate spokesturd. As a rectal cancer patient, I spend a lot of time focusing on that particular area, and its particular output. And to generate, painlessly, productively and naturally, a perfect Mr. Hankey, is the goal of my treatment. (That, and not dying.)

Imagine the day when Mr. Hankey’s earthy brown visage is slapped onto every ribbon, tshirt, electric mixer, lipstick, football helmet, mouth guard, sneaker, toaster, stapler and every other endorsable, colorable product in the world! I’d be happy with a smart baseball cap, and perhaps a shade of lipstick and a candy bar. But to dream at all is to dream big, right?

I know there’s little chance this letter will reach you, but I wanted to put it out there. Perhaps you’ll learn of this, and think about putting Mr. Hankey to work for a great cause.

Howdy ho,

Michelle L. Dobrawsky

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