Believe me, I get it -- in many ways, music festivals can be the worst.
So let's get it out of the way -- yes, a festival setting is not generally the ideal way to experience live music for a number of reasons: a) the natural elements (particularly the heat and storms) can be unforgiving, b) the more casual -- and younger -- fans festivals are catered for tend not to be up on live music etiquette, c) borderline-obscene price markups on food and drinks, d) all the lineups for the big fests have become virtually identical in recent years, (e) there's a reason this Onion headline -- "New Music Festival Just Large Empty Field To Do Drugs In" -- feels uncomfortably accurate and (f) PORTA-POTTIES ALL WEEKEND LONG.
Still, there's a glass-half-full perspective that should be considered by even the grumpiest of festivalgoers -- one that's probably a big part of why the music festival scene is booming while other parts of the broader industry have stagnated.
Being a nearly-30-year-old who just survived the throngs of (mostly) teens who took over Chicago's Grant Park for Lollapalooza this weekend -- a festival that completely sold out of three-day passes in under an hour before its lineup was even announced -- I have six reasons why festivals like Lolla aren't the hell-pit they are sometimes cracked up to be.
A music fest like Lollapalooza is an experience, not a thing -- and is probably a better use of money for that reason.
Science has spoken pretty loudly and clearly on this: Spending money on experiences rather than on material objects tends to make you feel happier and more satisfied. Yes, the price of admission for a festival can be steep -- in the case of Lolla, a three-day general-admission pass cost $275 and one-day passes went for $110 apiece.
But the experiences of watching 73-year-old Paul McCartney tear through Beatles and Wings classics like a 23-year-old and witnessing an emerging act like rapper Zebra Katz put a small crowd under his intense, intoxicating spell will cause more satisfaction over time than the pricey gadget or clothing that money could have been spent on. Those are the sorts of memories a music lover will hold onto for many years to come, and you're far less likely to have buyers' remorse unless you try something dumb -- like taking off your shorts and rushing the stage -- and end up arrested and/or escorted off the grounds.
With 100,000 ticketholders on the grounds at Lolla each day, that's a lot of net happiness.
Paul McCartney and Alabama Shakes' Brittany Howard perform at Lollapalooza.
The cliche holds: variety is truly the spice of life.
Of course, the biggest thing a giant music festival has to offer for music fans is the sheer amount of music they can take in within a relatively short period of time, all in the same place. This allows plenty of time not only to take in favorite acts, but also to discover new ones. In my case, a set from Texas guitarist and singer Gary Clark Jr. turned me onto his effervescent blues stylings and I was instantly hooked, though I was not familiar with him prior to the weekend. In addition, sets from buzz acts like VERITE and BROODS introduced me to the artists' broader catalogs, proving that they had impressive work beyond the two or three songs I'd already heard.
It's good bang for your buck, especially on smaller side stages where one can get closer to the action, or in the even smaller "fan experience" settings sponsored by brands like Toyota or FYE, who hosted intimate concerts and autograph-signing sessions featuring artists playing the fest, respectively. In my case, an Airbnb-hosted private concert headlined by synthpop duo MS MR playing a contest-winning Airbnb's living room on the Wednesday night preceding the fest provided the perfect kickoff for a music-packed weekend.
If you keep your eyes and ears open, opportunities to see favorite and soon-to-be-favorite artists in a smaller setting are many when a festival's in town and many of them happen outside the fest grounds.
MS MR play a special in-home set at an Airbnb-sponsored pre-Lollapalooza party in Chicago's Lakeview neighborhood.
Being outdoors makes for some unbeatable backdrops.
Of course a music festival's outdoor setting needs certain preparations are essential -- sunscreen should be required and a hat is extremely helpful, and you probably won't regret throwing a poncho in your festival bag. But with Lollapalooza's setting in Chicago's beautiful Grant Park came the opportunity to re-connect with the city's show-stopping skyline, gorgeously ornate Buckingham Fountain, loads of very old trees that provide much-needed shade for a mid-afternoon music break and some stunning flower beds, as well. Other festival settings provide similarly breathtaking views.
So long as you avoid mud pits -- unless that's your thing -- it all serves as a picturesque backdrop to live music. Even when the weather gets dramatic, as it did on Sunday at Lollapalooza, forcing a one-hour evacuation of the park and an early close to the festival, the lightning storm during Florence and the Machine's headlining set made the experience feel even more epic, important and memorable. Heck, even if you end up a little wet, you'll probably have a great story to tell.
Though a lack of phone service -- and a dying battery -- can be annoying, there's a plus side to that, too.
Let's face it, we all spend too much time staring at screens, whether it be on a laptop, phone or television, and it's not good for any of us, especially youngsters. So, when large crowds at a music festival mean your phone becomes about as helpful for communicating with the outside world as a rock, it forces you to be present in your current, off-the-grid-ish experience, taking in live music.
Sure, you might lose your friend Steve for a while. But what has Steve ever done for you, anyway? Agree ahead of time on a just-in-case meeting point and enjoy some music, a beer or an ice cream cone without him, rather than spending an hour hunting him down and screaming his name.
At Lollapalooza, I knew my phone could only be relied upon in limited doses, so I spent the bulk of the day actually watching bands instead of posting selfies to Instagram, focusing on special moments like A$AP Rocky being joined by Chicago's own Vic Mensa to join him for part of his entertaining set, R&B singer BANKS' spell-binding and emotional set and Delta Spirit bringing on T. Hardy Morris for an incredible Beatles cover, "Don't Let Me Down."
A$AP Rocky performs at Lollapalooza in Chicago.
All that standing and walking means lots of exercise, which means lots of endorphins. These are good things.
Going to a festival as massive as Lollapalooza is basically the same as working out, right? It at least feels that way as the festival grounds are nearly a mile long from one end to the other, so my attempts to see back-to-back sets on opposite ends of the park, going from U.K. pop princess Charli XCX to Toro Y Moi meant I was definitely getting my blood pumping.
As worn out as I felt by the end of the three-day weekend, despite drinking plenty of water and taking as many sitting breaks as possible, I knew I had earned the slice of deep-dish pizza I capped off the weekend with for Sunday night's dinner. (Now, how festivals could really make some extra bank with an old crowd would be masseuse services, especially by the end of a multi-day affair, but maybe this is just my #oldpersondoeslolla hashtag kicking in.)
The New Zealand brother-sister duo of BROODS performs at Lollapalooza at Grant Park in Chicago.
Of course, there are caveats.
All of that said, if you don't love crowds, well, there's not much a music festival can do to address that. But, thankfully, most fests -- including Lolla -- offer live web streams of the action so, in that case, it might make sense to take it all in from the couch and wait to see your favorite band the next time they come to town and play a smaller venue.
And if you're the sort of person who just can't roll with the unexpected or deal with an occasional weather evacuation, well, there's not much to be done about that either.
But if you do go to the next Coachella, Bonnaroo or Lolla, go in with an open mind and you'll probably be just fine. Oh, and bring your own hand sanitizer -- just in case.