My Breakup Letter to Hobby Lobby

PLANTATION, FL - JUNE 30:  A Hobby Lobby store is seen on June 30, 2014 in Plantation, Florida. Today in Washington, the Supr
PLANTATION, FL - JUNE 30: A Hobby Lobby store is seen on June 30, 2014 in Plantation, Florida. Today in Washington, the Supreme Court ruled in favor of a suit brought by the owners of Hobby Lobby and furniture maker Conestoga Wood Specialties ruling that companies cannot be forced to offer insurance coverage for birth control methods that the family-owned private companies object to for religious reasons. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Since corporations are people now, I thought this corporation deserved a human breakup letter.

Dear Hobby Lobby,

I think it's time I see other craft stores. I used to really like you despite some of your quirks (like not being open for business on Sundays). I thought, "Well, nobody's perfect." But after recent events, I'm afraid I just can't do it anymore. It's time for us to part ways, and I want you to know:

It's not me. It's you.

It's that you believe your rights as a for-profit corporation are more important than mine.

It's that you and I have very different beliefs, and while I've always respected your right to have those beliefs, I don't respect you forcing those beliefs on me.

It's that you're kind of controlling. I mean, I used to think it was kind of cute -- like you were being protective. Now, I just see that you want to make all my decisions for me (and my uterus) without any concern for how it will impact me.

It's that you think women take Plan B as a means to an abortion rather than as a means to prevent a pregnancy that has not yet occurred.

It's that you're a corporation run by men making decisions for a constituency of women.

So, we're over. Done. Finished. I'm changing my relationship status. I'm not going to be one of those people who keeps doing something just because it's comfortable. I'll get my puff paint and poster boards somewhere else -- even if it's further away or more expensive. I need a corporation who will treat me right. You know, like a person... with rights.

And I know the proper thing to say here is that I'll still be there for you no matter what happens, that we can stay friends. But I don't want to stay friends, Hobby Lobby. The fact is, I don't understand you, I don't respect you and I certainly don't like you anymore. I promise you, this is the last you'll be seeing of me.

I know what you're probably thinking -- "I'm better off without you, anyway." But, the truth is, you're really not. A large percentage of your employees are women, and I'd bet an even higher percentage of your shoppers are. Sure, they won't all be turned off by what you've done -- some girls like a bad corporation. But a lot of them will be. And those who are will tell their friends (just like I have). Pretty soon, you might start to notice you have a certain reputation and that your "type" (crafters, scrapbookers and DIYers) isn't going to be interested anymore. They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone. By then, it will be too late.

I'd like to end by saying no hard feelings, but that would just be a lie. So, I'll just say that I'm sure you're going to make somebody very happy someday -- probably not any women who want control over their reproductive health, but somebody nonetheless. I'm sorry it had to end this way. I hope you understand.

Forever (not) yours,

A former customer

PS: I have some of your stuff. I'll be setting it out on the curb -- I don't have a use for it anymore.