YESTERDAY I RECEIVED A PHONE CALL FROM THE HUFFPO ADMIN, ASKING ME TO STOP WRITING ABOUT BURYING HUFFPO BLOGGERS IN MY BACKYARD. "IT'S IN BAD TASTE,” THEY SAID. SO… I'VE DECIDED TO WRITE ABOUT MY CATS! SO LETS START WITH THIS ADORABLE STORY ABOUT MR.CHUCKLES!!!
One sunny afternoon I was alone watching the View (it was Wednesday, Scott was at the gym, as usual, working on his “lats” and “delts”). I was curled up comfortably underneath my quilt, with Mr. Chuckles resting on my toes. Mr. Chuckles is round, with tortoise-colored hair. If you looked up “adorable” in the dictionary, you would most certainly find the definition right above “adorn,” but also probably next to a picture of Mr. Chuckles!
I was enjoying my favorite snack, a Rollo pudding cup. I thought to myself, I bet Mr. Chuckles would love the top to the pudding cup!
(I also take medication for a very serious disorder.)
So I placed the pudding top on the coffee table (a “Svansbo” from Ikea) and gently nudged Mr. Chuckles to eat it. Mr. Chuckles looked at it with interest, and then began to paw it, getting his front paw completely covered in chocolate pudding!
I assumed Mr. Chuckles would lick his paw clean. I took the lid to the pudding and threw it away. Later, however, there was Mr. Chuckles, STILL with pudding on his paws!!!!
You should have seen Mr. Chuckles!
I wanted to take a picture of it, but I’m not allowed to have a camera. Mr. Chuckles just watched me with big, round eyes.
I said, "Mr. Chuckles! Don't you know you have chocolate pudding on your paws!"
Mr. Chuckles just stared at me!
I could hear his nose making sniffing noises - he could smell the pudding, but he didn't know where it was coming from!
I said, "Mr. Chuckles! The pudding is on your paw!"
Mr. Chuckles just stared at me with those big round eyes. And he moved slowly off the coffee table. And fell on the floor.
It was at this point, I realized it wasn't Mr. Chuckles at all, but some panty hose filled with sand and tied off at the end. It had buttons for eyes.
Apparently Scott had accidentally run over the real Mr. Chuckles two years ago.
Next time: Sergeant Fluffles finds a femur in the backyard!