On a recent Sunday, I spent the day with my 10-year old daughter and her girl scouts troop at Marine Landing - the girl scouts’ waterfront clubhouse in Long Beach. I know my daughter had an amazing day… but remarkably, so did I.
Me.
Mommy.
I was blown away by how much I enjoyed the day; I sort of can’t stop thinking about it.
We started with a flag ceremony - a first for many there. The big scouts in charge shepherded the rookies with ease through the formal ceremony and the girls began unraveling the flag, looking at and touching its colored fabric, hoisting ropes, commenting how it flew against the wind angled, as if on a ship.
We all stood there in silence - moms, grandmothers, aunts, friends, girl scouts young and old. Watching. Raising a flag to mark the start of a special day, singled out among the hundreds of days lived already and the hundreds more yet to be lived.
Next came the swim test; I hesitantly participated just so I could kayak. I bolted into the bluish wet abyss and the girls in my daughter’s troop stared at the bouncing grown-up child I had become. The cold water against my skin felt like ice on a wound and it soothed and calmed me as if on extended release.
The girls worked in unison to carry boat after boat down to the sand's edge and then kayaked and canoed in pairs and triples. I kayaked with my daughter as the day warmed and the chilly drops of water splashing on us made us laugh.
To make a lemon and sugar body scrub, they grated and squeezed and kneaded a sticky mixture that covered and tickled their meticulous hands. The yellow goo was then carefully transferred into mason jars that the girls decorated with stickers and markers and ribbon.
At one point I even took a nap on my daughter's orange towel on the grass overlooking the bay as a perfect breeze wafted across my back and shoulders.
In just 8 hours, I watched my sweet child build life skills, take risks, flourish, and all with such grace. I felt an incredible sense of joy and comfort in seeing how the girl scouts spent their day bonding and taking care of themselves and each other, nurtured by the scout leaders - former girls scouts who chose their profession from their love for scouting.
Mid-life can be a rough beat. Work, kids, more work, homework, relationships, divorce, loss, aging-just all of it. Sometimes we really have to try hard to be in the moment, and to breathe. The last several months had been particularly hard for me. Nearly 4 years after separating from my ex and just a year after settling the divorce, he finally won 50/50 custody. It was a loss for me, but in the end, a brutal battle was finally over. The chips had fallen and as we always do, we pick up the pieces and keep on living, the best we can. On this day, in the midst of it all, I experienced some blissfulness, all thanks to the girl scouts.
Exhausted, our souls satiated, it was time to bring up the boats and de-flag. Again the ceremonial ritual and were asked to recite Taps. We’ve all heard the somber notes, often played on a bugle to mark the end of a military funeral. I’d never heard the words and I never imagined they would be recited at the close of such a glorious day. One of the girls held up the lyrics written on a white poster. Squinting as the glittery ocean sparkled in the background, we sang.
“Day is done, gone the sun, from the hills, from the lake, from the skies. All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.”
It was my turn to stare as my beautiful young adult daughter held and then folded the American flag with her friends, carefully and innocently. I felt that lump in my throat, the tears teasing my eyes. I said goodbye to the day and recognized I would start the cycle again tomorrow. I felt the closeness of God, hovering, holding me, and filling my heart.
All is well. Safely rest.
This post originally appeared on Mama's Word. Follow Mama's Word on Facebook to receive updates on new posts.