I don't believe in conspiracy theories. I don't believe the moon landing was a hoax. I don't think the US government had anything to do with crashing airplanes into the Twin Towers. I don't believe our President is a Muslim from Kenya.
I believe in science. I trust science. And I don't believe that large sized groups of people can keep a secret.
However, after this weekend I am now 100% convinced that Donald Trump's candidacy is a colossal hoax designed to get a Republican elected to the Presidency.
A Republican who is NOT Donald Trump.
Here me out.
Almost immediately after Trump announces his candidacy in 2015, he attacks women. Soon thereafter, he calls Mexicans rapists. Then, he calls for banning Muslims from entering the US. And then, this weekend on CNN, he cozies up to white supremacists and the KKK.
Now, when Donald Trump drops out of the race -- and he will - the last Republican standing can proudly tell the American people:
"It's OK to vote for us... we got rid of the guy who hates women, Latinos, Muslims and loves the KKK."
So, what makes me think that the Republican party has cooked up a scheme this complex, this gigantic, this outrageous to defraud the American voters?
It all goes back to Mitt Romney's defeat in 2012.
In the months that followed, the Republican party's elders got together to do an autopsy on their candidate, their ideology and their party.
Remember after Romney's loss in 2012, the Republicans released the results of what they themselves called "the most comprehensive post-election review" a study they called "The Growth and Opportunity Project" where they confessed to needing to do a better job of appealing to women and Latinos if they intend to ever recapture the White House.
Well, it's four years later and the Republican party has done nothing to improve their standing with women and Latinos.
So - and this is where the conspiracy theory comes in - since the Republicans knew they couldn't really... and hadn't really... done anything to make their ideology, party and candidates more acceptable to women and Latinos, in fact, if anything they've doubled down on abortion and immigration -- they've engineered a scheme such that when Trump drops out - and he will -- the remaining Republican candidate will look moderate and electable when compared to Trump. Moderate and electable when compared to Hillary Clinton. The remaining candidate - whoever it is - can swiftly and proudly announce to voters that his party righteously and decisively got rid of the hateful racist and misogynist monster in their midst, who attacked Megan Kelly and her period and called Mexicans rapists -- while really and this is the amazing part -- not changing one iota.
I don't know who has engineered the Trump candidacy. But I am 100% certain that history will look back on him/her as a genius.
Jon Hotchkiss hosts the new series, Be Less Stupid, a show for people interested in how the world really works, that's been called "The Daily Show meets Popular Science."